A termite walks into a bar and asks: "Where's the bar tender?"
If my son farts or has his hands down his pants, my wife smiles and says, “Like father, like son!”
Yesterday we caught him screwing the neighbor, but for some reason it wasn’t so funny when I said it.
Why'd the guy marry the Siamese twin?
So he could fuck his wife and have a girlfriend on the side.
My wife was on the rag and I just couldn't take any more of her bitchin'. So I asked: "What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?"
Then before she could answer I told her: "You can negotiate with a terrorist."
And that's when the fight started...
