My wife was on the rag and really acting like a pain in the ass. So I figured I throw some gas on the fire and told her: "I figured out why they call it PMS... Mad Cow Disease was already taken!"
A man comes home from his job at the pickle factory and tells his wife he was fired. She asks him what happened and he tells her "I got fired for putting my dick in the pickle slicer."
His wife replies "On no! Are you okay?"
The man says "Yeah I'm fine."
His wife replies "You're not hurt? Was the slicer turned on?"
