What do you have with two balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?
See you next period.
Did you hear about the girl who had three chances to get pregnant?
Blew 'em all.
Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.
"Waiting for me to get home."
