What do you have with two balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
How does a redneck girl practice safe sex?
She locks the doors on her pickup truck.
How do you get your wife to stop sucking her thumb?
Draw a dick on it.
A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar after an interfaith convention.
The Jew, bragging about his virility said, "I have four sons, one more and I’ll have a basketball team!"
The Catholic pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That’s nothing, I have 10 sons, one more and I’ll have a football team."
To which the Mormon replied, "You guys don't have a clue. I have 17 wives, one more and I’ll have a golf course!"
