When would you want a man's company?
When he owns it.
Wife asks her spouse: "What are you doing?" Her husband says: "Nothing." So she presses him: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for the last hour."
He tells her: "Well... yeah... I was looking for the expiration date."
And that's when the fight started...
Old Dick is always willing to help a guy score with a great pickup line. Here's one you can try:
"I'd like to point out that 'beautiful' has 'u' in it. But, 'quickie' has u & i together."
You're welcome.
I took this divorced broad I met in a bar back to my place the other night. The next morning I asked her, "Well, how was I?"
She said, "The truth? I wasn't too happy with the size of your organ."
So I told her, "Yeah? Well I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral."