The 10th grade biology teacher asked Jessica: "What part of the human body increases to 10 times it's normal size when excited?" Jessica responded: "I'm too embarrassed to answer!"
So the teacher asked Little Johnny who quickly said: "That's easy...the pupil of the eye." "That's correct, Johnny. Very good!"
And then turning back to Jessica, the teacher said: "I have three things to say to you, young lady... first, you didn't do your homework; second, you have a dirty mind; and third, you're in for a big disappointment!"
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
Johnson took his latest invention, a computerized crystal ball, to his banker hoping to get a business loan. The banker was skeptical, so Johnson said to give it a try.
The banker typed "Where's my father?" and instantly the reply came back "Fishing in Michigan."
The banker said "I knew this thing wouldn't work. My father's been dead for twenty years."
Johnson begged him "No.wait. Try asking in a different way."
So the banker tried "Where's my mother's husband?"
And bang the answer came back: "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout."
