Shirley was sitting on a beach in Florida, trying to strike up a conversation with the attractive guy reading his book on the blanket next to her.
"Hi" she said. "Do you like movies?" "Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book.
Shirley persisted, "Do you like gardening?" The man looked up again. "Yes, I do," he said politely before returning to his reading.
Undaunted, Shirley asked, "Do you like pussycats?"
With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Shirley, pulled her bottoms off, and proceeded to pound her right there on the beach. As the cloud of sand began to settle, Shirley dragged herself upright and panted, "Wow... how did you know that was what I wanted?"
The guy thought a bit and replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
A lady gets on a train with her baby. A guy sitting across from her looks at the baby and starts laughing hysterically.
He says, "Lady, that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. It looks like a monkey. What an ugly kid."
The lady freaks out, and goes running into the next car sobbing uncontrollably. The conductor sees her, comes over to her to console her.
He says, "Lady, relax...things are going to be all right...we'll get off at the next stop, get a cup of coffee...maybe we'll even find a banana for your monkey."
