What do you call a judge with no balls?
Justice Prick
I spent 5 thousand bucks on a boob job for the wife and she was thrilled. So I go another 2 grand on her nose job and she's ecstatic.
But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job and she goes ballistic. Fucking women.
An accordion player and a banjo player are hired to play together on New Year's Eve.
At the end of the party, the guy who hired them says, "You guys were great. You want to play for me again next New Year's Eve?"
The banjo player says, "Sure. Can we leave our stuff?"
Why can't lesbians adopt a child?
Because they don't serve minors to lickers.