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Maybe He Should Go To a Sperm Bank?

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How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?

If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Just Drop It In

My wife stripped naked last night and stood on her head. I asked: "What the hell are you doing?"

She said: "Well... if you can't get it up again tonight, I thought maybe you could just drop it in!"

And that's when the fight started...

Witness For The Prosecution

Returning from a business trip a day early a guy tells his cab driver: "Cabbie, I think my wife's cheating on me. If I give you a hundred bucks, will you come in and be my witness?" The cabbie says, "Sure, pal."

It's after midnight when they enter the house. The husband grabs his gun from the front closet and he and the cabbie tip-toe up the stairs. The husband pushes the bedroom door open, flips on the light and pulls back the blanket. Sure enough he sees his wife and a stranger lying there totally naked.

The husband puts the gun to the naked guy's head when his wife screams: "Stop! Don't do it. I'll confess. I lied to you when I told you I had inherited some money. It was Larry who paid for that red Corvette I gave you. It was Larry who paid for your new bass boat as well, And it was Larry who paid for our country club membership. Larry even pays the monthly club dues and greens fees."

The husband lowers the gun and looks at the cabbie. "What would you do?" he asks.

The cabbie says, "I'd cover Larry's ass with that blanket before he catches cold."

No Fairy Tale

Little Red Riding Hood went to grandma's house and found her lying in bed. Little Red Riding Hood said, ''Grandma, what big eyes you have!'' Grandma replied: ''The better to see you with, my dear.'' Then Little Red Riding Hood remarked: ''Grandma, what big ears you have!'' Grandma smiled and said: "The better to hear you with, my dear.''

Finally Little Red Riding Hood said: ''Grandma, what a big mouth you have!'' Grandma snapped back: ''Of course I do! Have you seen Grandpa's dick?!?''