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It's Gonna Be One or the Other

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An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."

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Researchers Have Discovered

Researchers have determined that 99% of all men jerk off in the shower and the other 1% sing.

Do you know what they sing?

I didn't think you did.

Who Wants To Be My Bitch?

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.

"And you, Susie? " the teacher asks.

Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

Who Doesn't Love A Younger Woman

What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?

A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.