What's the definition of trust?
Two gay cannibals giving each other a blowjob.
I took this divorced broad I met in a bar back to my place the other night. The next morning I asked her, "Well, how was I?"
She said, "The truth? I wasn't too happy with the size of your organ."
So I told her, "Yeah? Well I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral."
Many people have been asking who I'm voting for in the next election. My answer:
"To tell you the truth, I'm never voting again...Because voting is like marriage, no matter who you choose, it turns out bad."
What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
Forty-five pounds.
