What's the difference between pink and purple?
The grip!
After weeks without gettin' any I got really pissed off and asked my wife: "What has two arms, two legs, two boobs & sucks?"
Before she could even think of a reply I told her: "You and a vacuum cleaner."
And that's when the fight started...
Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
An ironing board's legs are hard to open.
What does it mean when your wife is lying in bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
