What's brown and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's First Movement.
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.
I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
And that's when the fight started...
My wife and I were discussing the news. I said: "What's the big deal about same-sex marriage?"
She said: "You're right. We've been married for years, and we keep having the same lousy sex."
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.
