What's brown and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's First Movement.
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."
So I bought her a scale.
And that's when the fight started...
Guy walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "What'll you have buddy?" The guys says: "Surprise me."
So the bartender pulls out a naked picture of the guy's wife!
What do you call a virgin on a water bed?
A cherry float.
