What's brown and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's First Movement.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What's the difference between meat and chicken?
If you beat your chicken, it dies.
A doctor told his patient her test results came back and she had a rare disease with only 6 months to live.
"That's such a short amount of time." the woman begged, "Isn't there anything I can do?"
"Marry a lawyer," the doctor told her. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
