What's brown and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's First Movement.
Old Dick is ambidextrous. Yep! I can swing a bat from both sides of the plate, & jerk off with both hands.
What do you call a virgin on a water bed?
A cherry float.
My wife wanted to be a little adventurous. She told me she was up for making a sex tape.
I said, "Great, we should hold auditions for your part."
And that's when the fight started...