Don't Drink And Drive

: Created: 27 March 2017; Hits: 2473

Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

You Don't Scare Me

A lady's sick of her husband's drinking, so she decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and when her husband walks in from being out all night, she jumps out from behind the sofa and screams.

The guy looks at her and says, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister."

All In Due Time

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he told her with a wink.

That evening, he came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Excited, she opened it to find her gift - a paperback book titled "The Meaning of Dreams."

And that's when the fight started...

Order in the Court

What do you call a judge with no balls?

Justice Prick