Don't Drink And Drive

: Created: 27 March 2017; Hits: 2710

Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Karma Is A Bitch

A woman yells out, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!" Everyone in the bar stops and stares. Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table with a red face.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations."

To which the guy responds as loudly as possible, "What do you mean $200 for a blowjob?"

She Loved My Pickle!

A man comes home from his job at the pickle factory and tells his wife he was fired. She asks him what happened and he tells her "I got fired for putting my dick in the pickle slicer."

His wife replies "On no! Are you okay?"

The man says "Yeah I'm fine."

His wife replies "You're not hurt? Was the slicer turned on?"

The man says "Oh yeah, she loved it."

You're Asking The Wrong Person

The family was having dinner last night when our son turned to his mother and asked: "Mom, what's a blowjob"

I turned to him and said: "Your mother doesn't know son."

And that's when the fight started...