Big Ego

Three words to ruin a man's ego...

"Is it in?"

(Not that Ol' Dick Johnson has ever heard that or anything like it!)

A man tells his wife "I want to take a picture of your boobs so I can remember them like this forever."

The wife replies "I want to take a picture of your dick so I can enlarge it."

And that's when the fight started...

Why can't blondes parallel park? 'Cause guys keep telling them that 4 inches is really 8 inches.

Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."

"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.

"Waiting for me to get home."