A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Big Ego

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Three words to ruin a man's ego...

"Is it in?"

(Not that Ol' Dick Johnson has ever heard that or anything like it!)

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Just One Question

So tell me... if a firefighter's business can go up in smoke, and a plumber's business can go down the drain... can a hooker get layed off? Just askin'!

We're On The Air

A cute young blonde goes to a radio station late one night and kocks on the door. The all-night D.J. lets her in and chats to her between songs. Pretty soon he starts getting really horny. Finally, he can't stand it any more. So he rolls his chair over in front of her, stands on it, takes out his dick and sticks it right in her face. He looks down at her and says, "You know what to do!"

She looks up at him and says, "I-I think so." He says, "Then go ahead."

She grabs it and screams into it, "I just want to say hello to Terry and Holly and the whole gang at Matt's Grill."

Take Your Medicine

A guy goes to the pharmacist and says: "Listen, these two girls are coming over this weekend, and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night? It's going to be a hell of a party." The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and tells him: "This stuff is potent: drink only one ounce of it, and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know how it goes."

The weekend goes by and on Monday morning the pharmacist finds the same guy waiting for him outside the store. The pharmacist asks: "What are you doing here so early? And how was your weekend?" The guy replies: "Quick, I need Ben-Gay for the pain." The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says: "Are you crazy, you can't put Ben-Gay down there. The skin is way too sensitive." The guy says: "No, no, It's not for that, it's for my arm." The pharmacist asks": "What?? What happened?" Guy replies, "Well...I drank the whole bottle of your potion." The pharmacist: "Oh my god, and then what?"

"The girls never showed up!"