A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Big Ego

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Three words to ruin a man's ego...

"Is it in?"

(Not that Ol' Dick Johnson has ever heard that or anything like it!)

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Best Chance For A Full Recovery

Surgeons prefer operating on politicians.

No guts, heart or spine & the mouth & asshole are interchangeable.

Who'd You Call An Asshole?

A guy in a bar stands up & says, "All lawyers are assholes." Another guy stands up & says "Hey...I resent that..." The first guy says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

The second guy says, "No. I'm an asshole."

Rub-A-Dub-Dub

The other night I was having sex with my wife when my cell phone rang. I answered it and said: "Can I call you back? I'm in the tub."

And that's when the fight started...