How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck on his dick!
Husband: "What would you like for your anniversary, Sylvia?"
Wife: "A divorce, Bernie."
Husband: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
And that's when the fight started...
How are women like hardwood floors?
You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?
No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.
