Can We Get A Dog?

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Pick him up and suck on his dick!

Teacher: "What do you know about the Resurrection?"

Johnny: "If it lasts more than 4 hrs call your doctor."

How are nail polish and panties the same?

They both come off with a little alcohol.

I was scewing my wife when suddenly I stopped and didn't move. She asked: "What are you doing?"

I told her: "I saw this online on a porn site. It's called buffering"

And that's when the fight started...