What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
Liquor in the front and poker in the rear!
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons when a guy in a raincoat walks up and flashes them.
Two of them had a stroke. The third one's arms were too short.
What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?
Your mother can't take a joke.
I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."
I said: "Yeah, but I do."
And that's when the fight started...
