What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
Liquor in the front and poker in the rear!
What happened to the depressed dyslexic?
He threw himself behind the bus.
Susie is 16. She comes home at 2 in the morning, with her mom waiting up mad as hell.
She says "Mom, I was with Johnny, I love him." Her mother says, "It's not love, it's infatuation."
Susie says, "But I blew him and then he fucked me in the ass."
Her mother says, "That's infatuation. When he fucks you in the ass and then you blow him... that's love."
Bartender to pirate: Why the paper towel sticking out of your hat?
Pirate: Arrgh, Got a bounty on me head.
