What does a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with it the harder it gets.
Guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking its balls. The guy looks at the bartender and says: "Man I whish I could do that!"
The bartender tells him: "Better try petting him first!"
What is more messed up than fingering your sister?
Pulling your finger out and finding your dad's wedding ring.
My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.
When I came back she asked what did I get. I told her I got drunk.
And that's when the fight started...
