What does a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with it the harder it gets.
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
(With thanks to the great Henny Youngman.)
The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."
The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."
"I know how to fuck him, mom," the daughter interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna."
If nuts on a wall are walnuts and nuts on a chest are chestnuts, what are nuts on a chin?
A blowjob.