I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."
One day two boys were walking through the woods when they came upon some rabbit shit. The first boy asked his friend: "What's that?"
"'They're smart pills," his friend told him. "Eat one and it'll make you smarter." So the boy popped one in his mouth and said: "Yech. This tastes like shit."
"See," said his friend, "you're getting smarter already."