Why is sex like Microsoft Windows?
For everyone who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free.
My wife cheats when we play board games. Last night I'm playing Monopoly with the kids and she was in the garage bangin' the landscaper.
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
Her navel.
A woman's in labor. She's got her feet up in the stirrups, screaming in pain and cursing her husband.
He turns and says, "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass, but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.' "
