What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A Mechanic.
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
(With thanks to the great Henny Youngman.)
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Gagged!
Dear Santa,
I've been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Well, more like once in a while...
Oh f*ck it I'll buy my own shit!
- Billy
