What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A Mechanic.
What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
Full.
You know why you should never drink diet soda during oral sex?
Because that way you'll have two after-tastes to get rid of.
My wife and I were having a discussion about heaven. I told her she shouldn't worry 'cause she'll never get there. She asked: "How can you say that?"
I told her: "Because dragons never fly above 8,000 feet."
And that's when the fight started...
