What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A Mechanic.
I asked my wife: "Where do you want to go for our anniversary, honey?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested: "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started...
Did you hear about the Jewish mother doll?
You pull the string and it says, "Again with the string..."
My wife wanted to test me. So she asked: "Honey, what would you do if you came home and caught me in bed with another guy."
I told her: "I'd kick his seeing eye dog."