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Sex Tape

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My wife wanted to be a little adventurous. She told me she was up for making a sex tape.

I said, "Great, we should hold auditions for your part."

And that's when the fight started...

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An Age Old Question

Your wife & your lawyer are drowning, so you have to choose. What do you do: go to lunch or catch a movie?

Pray For Me

Willie goes to a revival meeting for some much needed prayer. The preacher says, "Whoever needs to be healed-UH... come for-ward-UH... come to the al-tar-UH... ask for the heal-ing-UH..." Willie gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher says, "All right my son, what do you need me to pray for?" Willie says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

The preacher puts one hand over Willie's ear, puts the other hand on top of Willie's head, and prays and prays and prays. After a few minutes, the preacher takes his hands away, stands back, and says, "Son, how is your hearing now?"

Willie says, "I don't know preacher. My hearing ain't 'til next Wednesday."

Give Me One In A Bun

How can you tell if you're at a gay barbecue?

The hot dogs taste like shit.