In the Spirit of the Season

Have you heard about the new line of tampons with bells and tinsel?

It's for the Christmas period.

I took my wife to a restaurant, and the waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah" I told him, "she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started...

What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?

A microwave doesn't brown your meat!

I overheard my girlfriend on the phone say to her friend she wants to get engaged on Valentine's Day.

Hope she finds someone nice.