In the Spirit of the Season

Have you heard about the new line of tampons with bells and tinsel?

It's for the Christmas period.

What do you call a woman who can suck a lemon through a 40-foot garden hose.

Darling.

Guy goes to his boss and asks for a day off, proudly saying: "My wife's gonna have a baby!" The boss tells him of course you can take the day off.

Two days later the guy shows up for work and the boss asks him: "So... was it a boy or a girl."

The guy replies: "How do I know... it takes nine months!"

I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people.

It needs more work.