What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?
Cowboy hats are for assholes.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't cook... they eat out.
What would you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.
The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."
The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."
"I know how to fuck him, mom," the daughter interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna."
