The difference between buying a lottery ticket and fighting with your wife?
You have a chance at winning the lottery.
Two little old ladies were at the slots in Atlantic City. One asks: "So... did you come on the bus?"
Her friend replied: "Yeah, but I made it look like an asthma attack."
Little Johnny in the bathtub points at his dick: "Mommy, is my brain in there?"
"Not yet, sweetie."
The other day my wife asked me to talk to her like she was special.
So I said, "Gooooo ... maaaaake ... meeeee ... aaaaa ... cuuuuup ... offfff ... coffeeeee"
And that's when the fight started...