A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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No Luck Here

Hits: 1990

The difference between buying a lottery ticket and fighting with your wife?

You have a chance at winning the lottery.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Religious Instruction

Teacher: "What do you know about the Resurrection?"
 
Johnny: "If it lasts more than 4 hrs call your doctor."

I'm A Little Hungry

An old guy and his wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The old gal tells her husband: "Go in the kitchen and get me some ice cream." So the old guy gets up and shuffles off to bring his sweetie a treat. By the time he gets to the kitchen he totally forgets what he's there for. So he opens the fridge, looks around and finally grabs some eggs and bacon. He whips up a quick batch of bacon and eggs and heads back to the den.

When he walks in carrying the plate his wife looks up with a scowl and barks: "You forgot the toast!"

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Three guys are sitting in a bar bitching about how stupid their wives are.

The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and we don't even have a garage."

The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to her iPod and she doesn't have any earphones for it."

The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a dick."