No Luck Here

The difference between buying a lottery ticket and fighting with your wife?

You have a chance at winning the lottery.

My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second and third.

Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."

He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"

And that's when the REAL fight started...

How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.