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: Created: 01 July 2017; Hits: 2860

I told my pal: "I got a brand new digital hearing aid, $10,000!" "What kind is it?" he asked.

"Six-thirty."

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Ahh... The Good Old Days

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing.

The first lady recalled shopping at the grocer and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper back then, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but I remember the guy you’re talking about."

Three Gals Having a Few Drinks

Three gals were sitting at a bar throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. The first woman said: "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does."

The second woman giggled and confessed: "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft."

The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friends said: "Say, what do you call your husband?" She frowned and said: "The postman." "Why the postman?" her friends asked.

"Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box."

This Could Come In Handy

A guy's in his car with a girl and says, "How about a hand job?"

She says, "What do I have to do?"

He says, "Remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it? Just do that."

She grabs it and does it. A few minutes later, he starts screaming. She says, "What's wrong?"

He says, "Take your fucking thumb off the end."