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I told my pal: "I got a brand new digital hearing aid, $10,000!" "What kind is it?" he asked.

"Six-thirty."

Do you know what 6.9 is?

A good thing screwed up by a period.

Why's a sheep better than a woman?

A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.