What do you get when you cross a computer with a prostitute?
A fucking know-it-all.
What does it mean when your wife is lying in bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A wet nose.
My wife and I were sitting at breakfast having bacon and eggs. I told her: Darling, you're just like bacon... you look, smell and taste fantastic!"
Thanks she said... before I added: "And your both killing me slowly."
And that's when the fight started...
