What do you get when you cross a computer with a prostitute?
A fucking know-it-all.
Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."
Wife: "My husband said that?"
"No, all the landscapers."
How's pussy like pizza?
The worst you'll ever have won't be all that bad.
My wife stripped naked last night and stood on her head. I asked: "What the hell are you doing?"
She said: "Well... if you can't get it up again tonight, I thought maybe you could just drop it in!"
And that's when the fight started...
