What do you get when you cross a computer with a prostitute?
A fucking know-it-all.
A blind guy in Macy's has his seeing-eye dog by the tail and is twirling it over his head.
A salesman walks up and asks: "Can I help you?"
The blind guy replies: "Nah. I'm just looking around."
My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.
I told her: "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."
And that's when the fight started...
What does a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with it the harder it gets.