Let There Be Light

How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. 1 holds the bulb & 9 drink till the room spins.

What's the definition of a Yankee?

Same thing as a quickie only you do it yourself.

An inventor walks into the Patent Office office and says to the girl behind the desk, "I'd like to register my new invention, a folding bottle."

The clerk asks. "What do you call it?" He tells her, "I call it a fottle." She says, "That's kind of silly, but OK we can set you up."

He says, "Thanks, I'll work on the name. Hey, I also have a folding carton too."

She says, "Really? And what do you call that?" He says, "A farton."

She says in disgust, "That's totally offensive. You can't use that name."

He says, "Uh-oh! I guess I'll have to scratch the one I was going to use for my folding bucket."

My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.

I told her: "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."

And that's when the fight started...