How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten. 1 holds the bulb & 9 drink till the room spins.
A drunk walking home one night staggers into a tree. He backs up, takes a step, and runs into the tree again.
Two more times he bumps into the tree, then curses: "Great. I shoulda been home 2 hours ago, and here I am lost in the damn forest."
Hired a 19 year-old Danish girl with huge tits to babysit.
Now where the fuck am I going to get some kids?