Let There Be Light

How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten. 1 holds the bulb & 9 drink till the room spins.

I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.

She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.

And that's when the fight started...

What's the recipe for a Honeymoon Salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

If a guy and a girl need a marriage license what do lesbians need?

A liquor license.