Know when a man is well hung?
When you can barely slip a finger in between his neck & the noose.
How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
His date warned him: "My mama made me promise I'd say 'NO' to all your advances."
He says: "Sure, no problem. You wouldn't mind if I fucked you in the ass, would ya?"
My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."
So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."
And that's when the fight started...
