Know when a man is well hung?
When you can barely slip a finger in between his neck & the noose.
Why were there only two pallbearers at the homeless guy's funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can.
College professor to her creative writing class, "Your assignment - write the shortest story you can that includes religion, sex and mystery."
Only one girl got an A on her paper. She wrote: "Good God, I'm pregnant ... I wonder who did it?"
Why aren't federal government employees allowed to look out the window in the morning?
Because then they would have nothing to do in the afternoon.
