The teacher says to her new class, "For our first lesson, each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father does, spell what your father does, and then explain it to us. All right, Billy."
Billy stands up and says, "My name's Billy. My father's a lawyer, l-a-w-y-e-r, and he defends people in court."
The teacher says, "Very good. All right, Tyrone."
Tyrone stands up and says, "My name's Tyrone. My father's a pharmacist, f-a-m...f-a-r-n...f-n..."
The teacher says, "Tyrone, you go home tonight and learn how to spell pharmacist. All right, Angelo."
Angelo stands up and says, "My name's Angelo. My old man's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e, and if he was here, he'd give you nine-to-five Tyrone ain't spellin' pharmacist by tomorrow."
Guy tells his brother, "I have to go to out of town for a couple of weeks. I need to leave my cat with you. Please take real good care of her." His brother says, "Relax. I got this."
A few days later, he calls his brother and asks, "So, how's my cat?" His brother tells him, "The cat's dead."
"Geeeez" says the guy, "Why'd you have to be so blunt? Couldn't you have broken it to me a little more gently? Like, you could have told me the cat was on the roof, and you had to call the Fire Department. But just before they got there, she slipped and fell to the ground. So you scooped her up and rushed her to the vet. But there was nothing he could do to save her. Something like that would have been much more sensitive." His brother says, "Whatever."
So then the guy asks, "How's Mom?"
His brother thinks for a moment then says, "Uh... Mom's on the roof ..."
