What do you call a 350-pound stripper?
Broke.
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesn't?
Her navel.
My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.
I told my wife: You know the trouble with most women? They get all excited over nothing!"
She said: "Yeah, I know what you mean, I married him."
And that's when the fight started...