Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
They're too bitter.
Why don't Canadians attend orgies?
Too many thank-you notes to write afterwards.
How does one explain the miracle of Hanukkah to todays generation?
Tell them that it's like if they charged their smartphone to last for 1 day, but it ended up lasting 8 days!
A woman's in labor. She's got her feet up in the stirrups, screaming in pain and cursing her husband.
He turns and says, "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass, but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.' "
