It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.
“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.
“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”
A 100-year-old man enters a Catholic confessional and admits "Father, last night I had sex with a couple of 18-year-old girls and it lasted for hours."
The priest sternly replies "That is a sin, I'm going to give you a penance."
The old man laughs "That won't be necessary father, I'm Jewish."
The father, confused, asks "Why are you telling me this?"
