A man picks up a cute little number in a bar and convinces her to come back to his hotel. After they're done screwing around he asks, "Am I the first man you ever made love to?"
She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying. "You might be... your face looks familiar."
A wife went on a retreat for work. When she returned home, she found a pair of panties in her dresser that did not belong to her. Furious, she questioned her husband. The husband said, "I have no idea where they came from I don't do the laundry!" So, the wife went to the maid and questioned her.
Indignant, the maid replied, "Madam, how should I know? These panties don't belong to me. I don't even wear panties... just ask your husband!"
