A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Passing The Time

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Why aren't federal government employees allowed to look out the window in the morning?

Because then they would have nothing to do in the afternoon.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Doesn't Always Take Two

What does a woman's asshole do when she has an orgasm?

He's probably home watching football or something.

On The Night Beat

A cop pulls a guy over one night for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we'll take a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

Do I Know You?

My wife asked me to guess what she wanted for her birthday.

So I said: "Your face from 10 years ago?"

And that's when the fight started...