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Education Pays

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A blonde psych major worked her way thru college as a prostitute.

For 50 bucks she screws with your mind.

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A Snap Diagnosis

Guy goes to psychiatrist wearing only saran wrap.

The doc tells him: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

Pinocchio's Complaint

Pinnochio tells his Dad that whenever he has sex with a girl, she complains about the splinters. His father gives him a piece of sand paper and tells him to rub his dick with it before sex and it should solve the problem.

A few days later, his father asks: "How are things going with the girls?" Pinocchio tells him: "Girls... who needs girls?"

Be Careful What You Wish For

A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns.

The guy says, "Fuck...it works."