Say What?!

A guy says to his new girlfriend: "Why are you always playing with my balls?"

She says: "Because I miss mine."

Hallmark Card fail:

"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."

How do you turn a fox into a cow?

Marry her.

I have a a real problem with sex and booze...

Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.