A guy says to his new girlfriend: "Why are you always playing with my balls?"
She says: "Because I miss mine."
My wife and I love to work out. This morning at the gym we had a discussion. She asked me: "What do you think is the most active muscle in a woman?"
I told her: "My dick."
And that's when the fight started...
My wife was in labor with our first kid and she's cursing and screaming at me the whole time.
I told her: "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.'"
You know why every woman doesn't go to heaven?
If they all went, it would be hell.