Say What?!

: Created: 29 May 2016; Hits: 3433

A guy says to his new girlfriend: "Why are you always playing with my balls?"

She says: "Because I miss mine."

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Seize The Moment

A guy comes home from work and finds his wife on her hands and knees in the kitchen scrubbing the floor. She only has an apron on so the husband gets a big hard on. Seizing the moment he quickly slips it in and starts humping her doggie style. When he's through he pulls out and at the same time hits her real hard up side the head.

"What was that for?" the wife screamed "Here I am being so nice to you, letting you really enjoy yourself. Why'd you hit me?"

The husband looks at her and says "For not looking back to see who it was."

Hang On Tight

Little Johnny was passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peaks in and catches mommy and daddy in the act. Before daddy can even react, Little Johnny exclaims, "Oh boy! Horsey ride! Daddy, can I ride your back?"

Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees...

Johnny hops on daddy and daddy gets back to businessn... pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping... Johnny cries out, "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the mailman usually get bucked off."

One Night Stand

A man and a woman, who are both married to other people, arrive at a hotel at the same time. The clerk tells them there is only one room left... And after an awkward moment they both agree to share it. Although they feel weird at first, they both manage to fall asleep in their separate beds.

After a few hours of sleeping, the man wakes the woman up and asks her, "Could you grab me another blanket from the closet? I'm really cold."

The woman responds, "Or we could just pretend to be married for the night?"

The man replies, "That would be amazing."

The woman smiles and says, "Okay. Get your own fucking blanket!"