A trucker who was on the road for two weeks stops at a whore house in Atlanta. He plops down $500 bucks and tells the madame: "I want your ugliest girl and a grilled cheese sandwich."
The madamce is astonished and says: "For that kind of money you can have any of my finest ladies and a 5-course dinner."
The trucker replies: "Listen darlin'... I'm not horny - I'm homesick!"
A guy is at the funeral home viewing his wife's coffin with a sad look on his face. His friend walks up to comfort him and says: "Don't worry Harry, you'll meet another woman."
"I know," Harry replied, "but what am I going to do tonight?"