I took my wife to the art gallery. The 1st picture was a naked women with a small patch of leaves over her private parts. My wife didn't like it so she said: "Let's keep going."
When I didn't follow right away she turned and asked: "What are you waiting for?"
A ninety-year-old guy is walking by a lake when he hears, "Hi, there." He looks down, and it's a bullfrog. He picks it up, and the frog says, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." The old guy unzips his bag, puts in the frog, and starts to zip it back up. The frog says, "What are you doing?" The old guy says, "At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog."