Back On My ... Back

Broke hooker to girlfriend while walking the streets together: "Lend me 10 bucks till I'm on my back again"

How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?

You start asking your wife for sex.

I've found that most younger women make a lot of noise in the bedroom.

Guess they're not expecting to see anyone outside their window.

How is sex like credit?

It's the people who need it most who can't get any.