What do you get when cross an attorney with a feminist?
A lawyer who won't fuck you.
I'm feeling a bit more mature these days so I wasn't embarrassed walking into the drug store to buy condoms. That is, until the woman behind the counter advised me, 'Save your money -- buy a lottery ticket.'
A young guy walks into a bar and as he passes an old man sitting there the old guy looks up and blurts out: "I fucked your mother."
The young guy ignores the old coot and keeps on walkin' when the old guy shouts: "Your mother sucks my dick".
So the young guy turns back and says: "Dad... your drunk... go home."
A lady goes golfing and gets hit in the ass really hard with a golf ball. She goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "Where were you hit?" She says, "Between the first and the second hole."
He says, "That doesn't leave alot of room for a band-aid, does it?"
