What do you get when cross an attorney with a feminist?
A lawyer who won't fuck you.
Just booked a table for me and the wife for Valentine's Day.
Hope the bitch knows how to play snooker.
What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.
What... you didn't see that coming?
My wife wanted to test me. So she asked: "Honey, what would you do if you came home and caught me in bed with another guy."
I told her: "I'd kick his seeing eye dog."
And that's when the fight started...
