What do you get when cross an attorney with a feminist?
A lawyer who won't fuck you.
What's a platonic relationship?
That's a friendship between a girl and a guy who wants to fuck her.
My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.
What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.
