What do you get when cross an attorney with a feminist?
A lawyer who won't fuck you.
A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.
He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."
The doc says, "You're just not eating right."
My dick's so big it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.
A man went to the police station looking for a chance to question the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sargent.
“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”