I Have One Question

Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)

What do you get when you sleep with a judge?

An honorable discharge.

How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?

He's smoking a cigarette.

Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids?

Because every time Mrs. Smokey gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.