I Have One Question

Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)

My wife thought I was too damn bossy, always acting like a typical male, so she called me a male chauvinist pig.

I looked at her sweetly and said: "Honey, the only thing worse than a male chauvinist pig is a woman who won't do what she's told."

And that's when the fight started...

Why'd the pervert cross the road?

His dick was stuck in the chicken.

A third-grade teacher is getting to know her class on the first day of school. She turns to one little girl and asks, "So what does your daddy do?"

The little girl replies, "Whatever Mommy tells him to."