I Have One Question

Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)

Guy to his friend: "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes & no clothes to wear."

Friend tells him: "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."

I know that newspapers are losing out to the Internet, but think about it... how many newspapers can a woman hold between her legs?

Easy! One Post, two Globes, and many Times. And I wouldn't mind a morning and an evening edition. Yeah... I like a woman who's into the hard news.

OK... I'm done.

What is the smallest hotel in the world?

A pussy, cause you have to leave the bags outside.