I Have One Question

Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)

My wife and I were discussing the recent death of a friend. She asked me: "Why do you think men die before their wives?"

I said: "Because they want to."

And that's when the fight started...

What do women and milk cartons have in common?

You gotta open the flaps to get to the good stuff.

How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.