I Have One Question

Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)

A brunette, a blonde & a redhead are all in 5th grade. Who has the biggest tits?

The blonde... she's 18!

What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?

You can't get either of them at home.

A guy bends his wife over the kitchen table and fucks her in the ass. When he's finished he asks: "Did you like that?"

She tells him: "I'd have liked it a lot more if the kids were done eating."