One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the guy what he wants. He says, “Oh, just gimme a beer”.
The bartender asks him “What's wrong, you look really down.”. The man replied, “My wife and i got into a fight and she told me she wouldn't talk to me for a month”. The bartender said “So whats the problem?”
The man said, “Well... the month's up tonight.”
How is sex like credit?
It's the people who need it most who can't get any.
Grandpa always told me don’t watch your money watch your health. So one day, while I'm watching my health, someone stole my money.
It was grandpa.
My wife and I were basking in the afterglow of having sex when she asked: "Honey, why did God create orgasms?"
I said: "So women can moan even when they’re happy."
And that's when the fight started...