20/20 Is More Than Plenty
I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."
I said: "Yeah, but I do."
And that's when the fight started...
I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."
I said: "Yeah, but I do."
And that's when the fight started...
How can you tell if a chick is too fat to screw?
You pull her pants down and her ass is still in 'em.
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
My wife and I attended a lecture on diet and health given by a prominent doctor.
"The things we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago." He said. "Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode our stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous. And none of us realize the long-term harm caused by impurities in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten it, or will eat it. Can anyone tell me what we eat that causes the most grief and suffering lasting for years after we eat it?"
I leaned over to my wife and whispered "I think he means wedding cake."
And that's when the fight started...