A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

An Adventure With No Clothes

I love an adventure & a challenge. So I joined a nudist colony.

1st day was the hardest, but I stuck it out.

The Four Seasons

A college kid is fucking an old lady. She says, "It may be Winter on top, but it's Summer in the furnace."

He says, "Yeah? Well, if you don't put a little Spring in your ass, we're gonna be here till Fall."

Better rethink this one

Old Dick Johnson sometimes has to re-think relationships.

Right now I think I'm spending way too much time with my girlfriend's family... I think her husband is getting suspicious.

After I'm Gone

I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."

"I do"

And that's when the fight started...

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Creation Of Man

Why did God create Adam before he created Eve?

Because He didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.

Don't Ask

My wife was curious. She asked: "When do married men stop jerking off?"

I told her: "When they get divorced."

And that's when the fight started...

A Duck Walks Into A Bar... Here We Go Again!

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says no, this is a bar not a grocery store." and sends him out.

The next day, the duck returns and again asks, "Got any grapes?" This time the bartender gets real mad and says. "I told you yesterday no grapes. And you're a duck. We don't even serve ducks here. You come in here and bother me one more time and I'll nail your fuckin' web feet to the floor." And with that he throws him out again.

The next day, the duck returns only this time he asks "Got any nails?" Confused, the bartender says "No."

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"