A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

Dick's Joke of the Day

I'll Drink To That

There's a huge five-alarm fire at the local bar and trucks are dispatched from every station. When it's finally under control, one of the chiefs walks in and finds two Irish guys drinking at the bar. The chief says, "I can't believe you guys were in here the whole time. How'd the fire start?"

One of the Irish guys says, "We have no idea. It was burning when we got here."

A Man's Man

What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?

Focused.

Where's My Gun?

Women are like guns.

Keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.

Not the Same Old Routine

My wife wanted to be a little playful, so she whispered: "Say dirty things to me!"

So I said: "Bathroom, kitchen, living room..."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

How It's Done Down South

How does a redneck girl practice safe sex?

She locks the doors on her pickup truck.

Rather Have A Puppy

Little Johnny is walking along with his father and they pass two dogs that are going at it. He says, "Hey, Pop! What's happenin' over there?"

His father says, "Er... son, they're making a puppy."

That night, Little Johnny walks past his parents bedroom, and the old man's giving it to the old lady. Little Johnny says, "Hey, Pop! What's happenin' now?"

His father says, "Er...son, we're making you a baby brother."

Little Johnny says, "Well, flip her over. I'd rather have a puppy."

No Luck Here

The difference between buying a lottery ticket and fighting with your wife?

You have a chance at winning the lottery.