A guy was fishing when he caught a magical crocodile. The crocodile spoke: "I am a magical crocodile. If you let me go I will grant you any wish you desire."
The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground."
So the crocodile bit his legs off.
What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?
I wouldn't pay fifty bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.
When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather...in his sleep.
Not screaming like the other passengers in his car.
My wife kinda had second thoughts about the first sex video I had talked her into making, so she said she wanted it back.
I said, "OK, but you'll have to pay twenty bucks, just like everybody else."
And that's when the fight started...