A man and his wife are setting up the password on their new computer. The man trying to be clever types in "MyPenis", the computer denies it.
His wife says, "I told you it wasn't long enough!"
And that's when the fight started...
Three words to ruin a man's ego...
"Is it in?"
(Not that Ol' Dick Johnson has ever heard that or anything like it!)
Teacher to the class: "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"
So Little Johnny raises his hand: "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"
The Teacher said looked puzzled but answered: "Of course not Johnny."
To which Little Johnny answered: "Then I have definitely crapped my pants."
My wife seemed a little down in the dumps. So I offered her some advice: "Honey, cheer up. Sometimes you just have to appreciate the little things in life."
She looked at me and replied: "How do you think I've stuck with you?"
And that's when the fight started...