A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

I'd Like To Point This Out

My wife came in complaining about me never lifting a finger around the house.

So I did - the middle one.

And that's when the fight started...

Everybody's Hiring These Days

This cute gal is on the psychiatrist's couch. She says, "Doc... you gotta help me. I have this uncontrollable urge to fuck all of my employers."

The psychiatrist says, "Hmm .. I see... ever work as a receptionist?"

My Last Gig

You know old Dick tries to stay pretty busy. Last week I did a benefit for the "Tempura House"... that's a shelter for lightly battered women.

Tough Times Call For One Thing...

My wife was concerned that we weren't managing the household well in tough financial times. So she asked me to take some action and plan for the future.

No problem I told her. I ran out and came home with 2 cases of beer instead of one.

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Difference Between Men And Women

Women fake orgasms to have relationships

Men fake relationships to have orgasms.

Viva Las Vegas

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you for free."

The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

And that's when the fight started...

More Reliable Than A Pulse

How do you know if your wife's dead?

You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.