A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Where's My Gun?

Women are like guns.

Keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.

How You Grow The Franchise

How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?

Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

One Of A Kind

What do you call a beautiful Polish girl?

Lucky!

I'd Like To Point This Out

My wife came in complaining about me never lifting a finger around the house.

So I did - the middle one.

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Why Don't You Kiss Me Like That?

I was walking in the park the other day with my wife when she pointed to a young couple sitting on a bench, passionately kissing. "Why don't you do that?" she asked.

"Honey," I replied, "I don't even know that woman!"

And that's when the fight started...

Not Quite A Sonnet

Definition of love: Your heart melts and comes squirting out the end of your dick.

This One's About Tools

What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?

Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.