Two guys are in a doctor's waiting room. The first guy asks, "Why're you here?" The second guy says, "Endoscopy. He's going down my throat with a camera. Why're you here?"
The first guy replies, "Camera up the ass." The second guy remarks, "Oh, a colonoscopy?"
The first guy tells him, "Nah. My old lady caught me taking pictures of the neighbor's wife sunbathing naked."
A man's been praying at The Wailing Wall in Jerusalem for 20 years. One day he's being interviewed. The reporter says, "You've been praying at The Wailing Wall for 20 years?" The man says, "Absolutely, 20 years. In the morning when I get up, I pray there should be peace in the world. In the afternoon I pray that misery and hunger should be eliminated. And at night I pray that the Israelis and the Palestinians should live together in harmony."
The reporter says, "Well, those are all very nice thoughts. Tell me, how does it feel?"
The man says, "It's like talking to a fucking wall."
My wife was amazed to read about a farmer who claimed he sold a cow with a pussy like a woman for $10,000.
I told her: "That's not amazing, that's irony. Here I am with you... a pussy like a cow, and you ain't worth shit."
And that's when the fight started...