A Military Question

What's the difference between zebras and female Marines?

Zebras don't have to suck anybody's dick to get their stripes.

Leaves A Bad Taste In Your Mouth

You know why you should never drink diet soda during oral sex?

Because that way you'll have two after-tastes to get rid of.

Looking For A Good Deal

A blind guy in Macy's has his seeing-eye dog by the tail and is twirling it over his head.

A salesman walks up and asks: "Can I help you?"

The blind guy replies: "Nah. I'm just looking around."

I Like Big Butts...

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.

I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.

And that's when the fight started...