I thought I could please my wife by offering her a sumptuous breakfast in bed. So I asked her what would be her perfect breakfast.
She said: "My perfect breakfast would be a cup of gourmet coffee. Our son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Our daughter is on the cover of Business Week. And your face is on the back of the milk carton."
And that's when the fight started...
Surgeons prefer operating on politicians.
No guts, heart or spine & the mouth & asshole are interchangeable.
Three guys are in a bar discussing which joint in town has the best deal on drinks.
The first guy boasts, "There's a bar on the South Side where the bartender will set up a free drink for every one you buy."
The next guy says, "That's nothing! Over on the West Side there's a bar where the bartender will pour you a double shot free for every one you buy."
The last guy is totally unimpressed and says, "That's nothing. There's a place somewhere on the North Side where the owner buys you drinks all night. Then when the bar closes, he takes you into a back room with a cot makes love to you all night."
The first two guys are shocked but a little skeptical, so they ask if he's actually been there. "Nope," the guys says, "But my sister told me all about it."
My wife and I were on a road trip and I asked her to help navigate, So of course she couldn't quite figure out how to use the map. Frustrated I asked her, "Why can't women read maps?"
She snapped back, "Because only a man can relate to the concept of 1 inch equals a mile."
And that's when the fight started...