Bad News And Bad News
A wife tells her husband: "I have good news & bad news." The husband says: "Just give me the good news."
The wife: "The paperboy isn't sterile."
A wife tells her husband: "I have good news & bad news." The husband says: "Just give me the good news."
The wife: "The paperboy isn't sterile."
Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says no, this is a bar not a grocery store." and sends him out.
The next day, the duck returns and again asks, "Got any grapes?" This time the bartender gets real mad and says. "I told you yesterday no grapes. And you're a duck. We don't even serve ducks here. You come in here and bother me one more time and I'll nail your fuckin' web feet to the floor." And with that he throws him out again.
The next day, the duck returns only this time he asks "Got any nails?" Confused, the bartender says "No."
"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"
Last winter my wife and I were walking down the street when we passed a fancy department store window. She turned and asked me: "Sweetheart, why won't you buy me a fur coat? I'm so cold!"
I told her: "If you already knew the answer, why'd you bother asking?"
And that's when the fight started...