A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

Dick's Joke of the Day

So That's How It Happened

I told my wife: You know the trouble with most women? They get all excited over nothing!"

She said: "Yeah, I know what you mean, I married him."

And that's when the fight started...

Bon Voyage

Johnson is standing on the train platform when the guy next to him waves and yells" "Goodbye! Your wife's a great fuck!"

Johnson is shocked and asks the guy: "Who were you yelling to?" The guy tells Johsnon: "That's my brother." "Wow" Johnson tells him, "That's incedibly insensitive!"

The guy says: "Actually I'm very sensitive. My brother's wife is a lousy fuck. I didn't want to hurt his feelings."

Drive Safely

A car was driving recklessly down the street, swerving left and right. When it whizzed past a cop he pulled it over. A blonde rolled down the window and said, " Officer, I'm so glad you're here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting them!"

The officer looked at her and said, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

How Sexy Am I?

Wife gets naked and asks hubby, "What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

Hubby looks her up and down and replies, "Your sense of humor!"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Happy Anniversary

I asked my wife: "Where do you want to go for our anniversary, honey?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested: "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started...

Who Doesn't Love A Younger Woman

What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?

A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.

Mowing The Lawn

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the bike, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.."

And that's when the fight started...