A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

A Real Woman

A plane is about to crash. A woman stands up and yells, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Who's going to be man enough to do it?"

A large man stands up and rips his shirt off, "Here! Iron this!"

Chip Off The Old Block

Toilet seat falls on kid's dick, runs to mom: Kiss it, make it better.

Mom: Every day more like your dad.

Men are Dogs, Not Vice Versa

Why does a dog lick himself?

He can't make a fist.

I've Had Better

On our honeymoon night I asked my bride, "Honey... am I the first?"

She replied, "Why does everybody ask that?"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

The One Thing Not To Do

What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from an old woman have in common?

You don't look down.

What's Your Favorite Drink Recipe?

If Gin makes you grin and Whiskey makes you frisky, what makes you pregnant?

Two highballs and a squirt.

Not His Type

An Italian guy Luigi goes up to his neighbor Tony and says, "Hey, Tony... lemme ax you a question. You like-a woman with-a big, sloppy tits, that droop-a down this-a far?" Tony says, "No."

Luigi says, "Hokay. Now, lemme ax you another question. You like-a woman with-a big-a huge-a ass like a dump truck?" Tony says, "Hell, no."

Luigi then says, "Now lemme ax you one more question. You like-a woman with-a big, thick-a mustache and she's-a all the time smell like-a garlic?"

Tony says, "What-a you, crazy?"

Luigi says, "Then why you fuck-a my wife?"