A young couple were driving down country road in total silence, having had a little disagreement at their last stop. As they passed a barnyard full of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?"
"Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."
And that's when the fight started...
Two drunks are about to leave the bar at closing time when one says: "Man I hate getting home at this hour. All I want to do is crawl into bed and crash. But the old lady is waitin' up and won't stop raggin' on me for stayin' out late and comin' home drunk."
His friend tells him: "I found the perfect solution. Instead of tryin' to sneak in I slam the front door and scream out 'Wake up honey I wanna fuck!' When I do that she always pretends to be asleep!"
How do they say "fuck you" in Hollywood?
Trust me.
A guy stops in to the drugstore with his wife to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks.
"No", the guy says, "she's not that ugly!"
And that's when the fight started...