I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.
She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.
And that's when the fight started...
What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.
They finally came out new a new blonde paint.
It's not real bright, but it's cheap... and it spreads easy.
My wife was fishing for a compliment. So she asked me: "So, do you think you married Miss Right."
I said: "Yeah, I just didn't know your first name was 'Always.'"
And that's when the fight started...