The Time Is Now
Wife: "Will you love me when I'm old and fat?"
Husband: "I do."
And that's when the fight started...
Wife: "Will you love me when I'm old and fat?"
Husband: "I do."
And that's when the fight started...
My girlfriend caught me drying my dick with the hair dryer. She asked: "What are you doing?"
Apparently "Heating up your dinner." wasn't the right answer.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the bike, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.."
And that's when the fight started...