My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."
So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."
And that's when the fight started...
What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
What do you call a guy who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you the flavor?
A smartass!
My wife tried to goad me, "Our next door neighbor tells me her husband can make love to her 3X a day. Why can't you do that?"
I told her, "Because she always says, 'No, we might get caught.' "
And that's when the fight started...