A doctor is meeting with a husband after examining his wife. The doctor tells him: "Your wife's diagnosis is uncertain. She either has Aids or she has Alzheimers."
The husband asks: "What should I do, doc?"
The doctor advises him: "Drive her five miles outside of town and drop her off. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
How do Cinderella and Pinnochio make love?
She sits on his face and he tells lies.
A doctor examining a little old man tells him, "You're suffering from exhaustion. How often do you have sex?"
The old guy says, "Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."
The doc says, "Well, that could be the problem. Maybe you should try eliminating Wednesdays."
The old guy replies, "I can't, Doc. That's the only night I go home."
I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.
She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.
And that's when the fight started...