A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

A Good Choir Boy

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.

Never Mix Sex And Alcohol

I have a a real problem with sex and booze...

Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.

A Sign of the Times

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other: "Man, was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!"

His buddy signs back: "When my wife goes off on me I just don't listen." The fist guy signs: "How do you do that?"

His friend signs to him: "Easy! I turn the lights off!"

Perception Is Reality

My wife wanted  to convince me of the benefits of marriage. So she argued "You know married men live longer than single men."

I shot back: "That's not true, it only seems longer."

And that's when the fight started....

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Hang In There Buddy

One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Little Johnny was sitting and found him with his hand down his pants. She asked, "Johnny, what are you doing?" Little Johnny said, "It hurts down there." "Well then," said the teacher, "You need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home."

A little while later, Johnny came back to the classroom and took his seat. When the teacher walked over she was shocked to see Little Johnny had his dick hanging out of his pants. The teacher said, "Johnny, what's that doing hanging out of your pants?!"

Little Johnny said, "The nurse called home, and my mommy said if I can stick it out till noon, she'll come and pick me up."

Musings From George Burns

1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.

That's The Whole Point

What does a virgin and a balloon have in common?

One prick and it's all over.