A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Another Bingo!

How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?

Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"

Question For Bird Watchers

Why are crows so damn noisy when they fuck?

Caws!

Needs More Duct Tape

What's the best thing about duct tape?

It turns, "No! No!," into "Mmm! Mmm!"

I Like Big Butts...

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.

I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

How To Make Your Husband Happy

The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."

The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."

"I know how to fuck him, mom," the daughter interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna."

Kung Pao Chicken

Chinese couple in bed: Husband says, "I want a 69."

Wife says, "Why you want beef & broccoli now?"

More Meat Please

A guy from America asked the gal from Sweden to dance at the college fraternity party. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call that a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sweden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call that a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a whole lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her. While he's pumping away he leans over and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".

She says, "Yaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too. Only we usually put more meat in it."