A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Great Inventors In History

Teacher: Who knows the inventor of the car air conditioner?

Little Johnny: 3 Jewish guys. Hi, Norm and Max.

Sperm Banks or Blood Banks?

A recent survey shows that sperm banks beat blood banks in contributions... HANDS DOWN!

What's A Mother To Do

One day Little Johnny's mother was cleaning his room when she found a Bondage and S&M magazine under his bed. This was very upsetting to her. So she waited until Little Johnny's dad came home, handed him the magazine and told him: "Look what I found under Johnny's bed. What do you think we should do about it?"

Dad looked took the magazine, thumbed through a few pages, then handed it back to her saying: "Well... I don't think we should spank him."

Knew It Wouldn't Work

My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.

I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Facts About The Big City

The average vagina 8" deep, the average penis 5 1/2" long. Do the math. In New York City alone there's 165 miles of unused pussy.

One Too Many

A guy is sitting at the bar and he's really drunk. His dick is out, he's a monstrous hard-on, and he's beating off like there's no tomorrow.

The bartender says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get outta here."

The guy says, "Are you kiddin'? No way I can leave. If I stood up I couldn't walk. In fact, I'm so drunk, I don't even know who I'm screwin'."

Musings From George Burns

1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.