A man walks into the kitchen and finds his wife boiling eggs. She looks at him passionately, lays on the counter, and says, "Make love to me Randy!"
Not wanting to lose the chance he embraces her quickly and they make passionate love.
When they are finished he asks her, "What was that about?"
She replies, "The egg timer was broken."
A chicken and and egg are lying in bed.
The chicken begins to light up a cigarette.
The egg says: "Well... I guess that answers that question."
How does a redneck girl practice safe sex?
She locks the doors on her pickup truck.
My wife and I were discussing babies and she had a thought. "Why do doctors spank newborn babies?"
I told her: "To knock the dicks off the stupid ones."
And that's when the fight started...