She Doesn't Give A F*ck!

What do you get when cross an attorney with a feminist?

A lawyer who won't fuck you.

Good Reason To Join

Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The guy who can carry 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

Who is the most popular girl at a nudist colony? The girl who can eat the last donut.

Another Vocabulary Lesson

Teacher to the class: "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"

So Little Johnny raises his hand: "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher said looked puzzled but answered: "Of course not Johnny."

To which Little Johnny answered: "Then I have definitely crapped my pants."

It Takes Two

I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?

She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."

And that's when the fight started...