A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

An Adventure With No Clothes

I love an adventure & a challenge. So I joined a nudist colony.

1st day was the hardest, but I stuck it out.

That Big?

I don't wanna brag, but my dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures. Get that ladies?

Over And Done

An old man was in the red light district and approached a cute little prostitute working the corner. He asked: "How's about some action?" The girl looked him up and down and said: "Old man, I think you've had it!"

To which the old guy replied: "OK... how much do I owe you."

Sex Tape

My wife wanted to be a little adventurous. She told me she was up for making a sex tape.

I said, "Great, we should hold auditions for your part."

And that's when the fight started...

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Make A Wish

Little Johnny's parents got divorced. One night Little Johnny walked past his mother's bedroom, the door was open, and he sees his mother lying on her back playing with herself, saying "I need a man... I need a man..."

A few nights later he walks past her bedroom again, the door's open, and he sees his mother with a man on top of her.

Little Johnny runs to his room, jumps on his bed, pulls down his pants and starts playing with himself, saying, "I need a bike... I need a bike... "

Relationship Expert

What's a platonic relationship?

That's a friendship between a girl and a guy who wants to fuck her. 

Don't Drink And Drive

Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.