It's Been Said
It's been said if you bend over & put your ear to someone's leg you can hear "What the fuck are you doing?"
It's been said if you bend over & put your ear to someone's leg you can hear "What the fuck are you doing?"
What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?
Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.
An 80-year-old man was having his annual physical when his doctor asked him how he was feeling. "Doc," he bragged, I’ve never been better! I've got plenty of dough for retirement and I’ve got a 20-year-old bride who’s pregnant and having my baby! Pretty good, right?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So there he was in the woods, when suddenly a grizzly bear appeared right in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear, and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?"
Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No." The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead right there on the spot." "That’s impossible!" the old guy argued. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That’s exactly what I’m getting at..." replied the doctor.
I told my wife: You know the trouble with most women? They get all excited over nothing!"
She said: "Yeah, I know what you mean, I married him."
And that's when the fight started...