One Friday afternoon two women are sitting on the front porch. The first woman says, "Here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers. That means I'll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend."
The other woman asks, "Why, don't you have a vase?"
How is pubic hair like parsley?
You push it to the side before you start eating.
My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.
I'm not some kind of stud.
I'm a lazy bastard postman.
My wife and I were basking in the afterglow of having sex when she asked: "Honey, why did God create orgasms?"
I said: "So women can moan even when they’re happy."
And that's when the fight started...