She Blew It

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?

Your wife will always blow your bonus!

Question About A Blonde

Why was the blonde's belly button red and hurting after sex?

Her boyfriend was also blonde.

What's Better?

What's better than being a historic pioneer of women's rights?

Being a man.

My Wife Was Feeling Sick

Before I left for work my wife told me she wasn't feeling well. I told her: "Don't worry honey, you're not really sick."

She asked: "How do you know?"

I told her: "Because I didn't have to carry you downstairs to make my breakfast."

And that's when the fight started.