A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

One Day Down At The Head Shop

Why are roach clips called roach clips?

Because "pot holder" was already taken.

Big Ego

Three words to ruin a man's ego...

"Is it in?"

(Not that Ol' Dick Johnson has ever heard that or anything like it!)

Outside The Clinic

What's worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car when you're parked outside an abortion clinic?

Going in to ask if you can borrow a coat hanger.

Can You Hear What I'm Seeing?

My wife asked me: "Why do you go out on the balcony every time I start to sing?"

I told her: "I don't want the neighbors to think I'm beating you."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Ol' Grandpa At It Again

Last Christmas grandpa surprised eveyone and made snow angels.

He skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.

Name Game

What did the Jewish guy and his Chinese wife name their baby boy?

Ka Ching!

A Better Approach

Two drunks are about to leave the bar at closing time when one says: "Man I hate getting home at this hour. All I want to do is crawl into bed and crash. But the old lady is waitin' up and won't stop raggin' on me for stayin' out late and comin' home drunk."

His friend tells him: "I found the perfect solution. Instead of tryin' to sneak in I slam the front door and scream out 'Wake up honey I wanna fuck!' When I do that she always pretends to be asleep!"