A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Watch Where You Hang Those Things

An old couple sits down to breakfast on their Fiftieth Anniversary stark naked.

The wife says "Oh, Harold, this is just like fifty years ago...my breasts feel all warm and tingly..."

He says, "They ought to be, Gladys...one's hanging in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."

English Class Assignment

The teacher asked the class to use the word indefinitely in a sentence?

Little Johnny raised his hand and said: "When your balls are slapping on the cheeks of her ass, you're in definitely."

Not My Type Of Girl

What's the difference between the lesbians in porn films and a lesbian in real life?

About 65 pounds.

Her Most Affectionate Name

I'm laying back after screwing my wife & she whispers: "Honey, I think I'll call you the bus?"

I asked why and she said, "Because you always stop before I get off!"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Best Friends Forever

Difference between a friend & a real friend?

A friend helps you move. A real friend helps you move a body.

Don't Ask

My wife was curious. She asked: "When do married men stop jerking off?"

I told her: "When they get divorced."

And that's when the fight started...

Wasn't The Sex Ed Class I Had

Here we are in Sex Education Class. The teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for having sex."

The next day she calls on Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?" Little Johnny says, "Seventy-three."

The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good..."

Next she calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about you?" Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just lays on top of the girl."

From the back Little Johnny yells out, "Seventy-four."