A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Can't Live Without It

Sex is just like air...

It's no big deal until you're not getting any.

Put It On My Bill

Duck walks into a whorehouse, asks the madame: "If I pick out 1 of your whores will you put it on my bill?"

We Do It Every Year

Last Xmas Aunt Ellen hung herself.

As a traditional family, we didn't take her down until after New Year's.

How Sexy Am I?

Wife gets naked and asks hubby, "What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

Hubby looks her up and down and replies, "Your sense of humor!"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Salesman Of The Month

Guy goes to a cocktail party but doesn't realize his fly is open.

At the party he spots a real pretty gal across the room and decides to try his luck. He walks up and they start chatting when the gal glances down and sees his open fly. Hoping to be discreet she casually asks: "Did you lock up your business before you got here tonight?" The guy says, "Sure."

After a few more minutes of small talk the gal tries again: "Are you sure the store is locked up?" The guy says, "Absolutely..." still not realizing what she meant.

As he walks away a few minutes later he realizes his fly is open and fixes the problem. Later that evening he spots the gal again, only this time he is prepared. He walks up behind her and taps her on the shoulder. As she turns around he smiles at her and asks: "Remember earlier when you noticed my store was open? Tell me... was my best salesman in or out?"

For Those Too Young To Remember

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?"

This is No Bull

A guy and his wife are out for a drive in the country. They pass a field where they see a bull mount six cows in a row, one after the other. The wife remarks: "Too bad you can't perform like that."

The husband replies: "I could... if I get to change cows every time!"

And that's when the fight started...