A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

How To Spend a Fun Afternoon

A cop pulls a guy over with a pickup truck full of penguins. He says:"You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy says OK, and drives off.

The next day, the cop sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, only now they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over again and barks at him: "I thought I told you yesterday to take these penguins to the zoo?"

The guy answers back: "I did ... today we're going to the beach!"

Can't Wait To Get There

I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.

The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!

Creative Writing Class

College professor to her creative writing class, "Your assignment - write the shortest story you can that includes religion, sex and mystery."

Only one girl got an A on her paper. She wrote: "Good God, I'm pregnant ... I wonder who did it?"

Under Pressure

I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"

I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Bum and A Rich Broad

A bum walks up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and says: "I haven't eaten anything in four days!"

She looks back at him and says: "God I wish I had your will power."

#NSFW

Here's my observation about work and productivity:

It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my company didn’t block access to porn sites on the internet.

Was Never So Good At Math...

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

(uhhhh....Yeah, I have the same feeling you are having! :-O)