A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Learn To Drive

Why are men like cars?

Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is coming.

Things Are Tough All Over

Life is like a dick. Simple soft straight relaxed & hanging free.

Then a woman comes along & makes it hard.

Those Fat Bastards In Corporate

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

A New Accessory

My son gets behind the wheel of the car to take his first driving lesson. As mom gets in the passenger side he rolls down the window and asks: "Does this car have passenger side air bags?"

I said, "It does now."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Story of My Love Life

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girlfriend.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. What I really wanted was a girl with a zest for life.

When I was 19, I found a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. So I looked for a girl with some stability.

When I was 25, I found a stable girl, but she was too boring. What i needed was a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but she lacked direction and was too petty. I thought I'd be better off with a girl with some ambition.

When I was 31, I found an ambitious girl. Yeah... she was so ambitious that she married me, divorced me, and took everything I owned.

Now I am 40, and all I want is a girl with big tits!

I'll Have The Same

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After takeoff the stewardess came to take the drink orders. The Irishman asked for a whiskey. When she asked the Mormon if he'd like a drink he replied in disgust, "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman grabs the stewardess by the arm and says, "Instead of the whiskey, can I have what he's having. I didn't know I had a choice!"

More Cushion For The Pushin'

How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?

Piece of cake.