Not The Smartest Guys

Did you hear about the two guys in Minnesota who froze to death in their car at the drive-in theater?

They went to see "Closed for the Season."

Toss My Honeymoon Salad

What's the recipe for a Honeymoon Salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Blonde Snowman

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

Save A Trip To The Pet Shop

I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.

She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.

And that's when the fight started...