A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

By Definition

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?

Full.

He Takes The Crown

Who's the world's greatest athlete?

The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

Union Rules

How many teamsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Twelve ... you got a problem?

Everything Has A Purpose

My wife and I were talking anatomy. She asked if I agreed that the body is a wonderful, perfect machine. I told her a woman's body has one purpose. She asked what?

I told her life support for her pussy.

And that's when the fight started...

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Two Blondes Checking The Tracks

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said: "These look like deer tracks." The other one said: "No they look like moose tracks."

They argued and argued for a while. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Natural Viagra

Morris walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I've got a constant erection. At first it was fun, but then it became painful and embarrassing."

He takes down his pants, and his hardon is sticking straight out. The doctor looks at it for a minute, then whacks it with two fingers. A little bug jumps off, scurries away and just like that the hardon goes right down.

Morris says, "Gee, Doc, that's great. How much do I owe you?"

The doctor says, "Help me find that bug and you don't owe me a thing."

The Widower's Dilemma

A guy is at the funeral home viewing his wife's coffin with a sad look on his face. His friend walks up to comfort him and says: "Don't worry Harry, you'll meet another woman."

"I know," Harry replied, "but what am I going to do tonight?"