A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

The Happiest Man In The World

My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."

So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."

And that's when the fight started...

What Did Your Momma Give You?

Why are black guys dicks bigger than white guys?

Because as kids white guys had toys to play with!

Every Day is Ironing Day

Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

An ironing board's legs are hard to open.

A Simple Request

Last night I smiled at my wife and asked: "Honey, will you do something with your mouth that all men love?" She smiled back coyly and said: "And what is that, darling?"

I said: "Close it!"

And that's when the fight started...

 

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Wipe That Smile Off Your Face

How do you stop a clown from smiling?

Shoot him in the face!

And When You Die...

My wife and I were having our usual back and forth when I finally got frustrated and told her: "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"

"Yeah?" she replied. " Well, when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

And that's when the fight started...

Where Shall We Go?

My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.

I told her:  "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."

And that's when the fight started...