I Like Big Butts And I Cannot Lie...

What is the flattest surface you can iron your jeans on?

A white chick's ass.

What A Horrible Life

Did you ever think what a horrible life a dick has? Think about it... his roommates are nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and every night his owner strangles him with one hand until he throws up!

Those Fat Bastards In Corporate

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

Where Shall We Go?

My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.

I told her:  "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."

And that's when the fight started...