A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

The Down Under

How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.

A Helping Hand

A priest is walking down the street and passes by a prostitute who yells out, "$20 for a handjob!"

He keeps walking but later he asks a nun, "What's a handjob?"

She replies, "20 bucks... same as in town."

Population Problem

World population has become a big problem. Experts say every 4 seconds a woman gives birth to another baby.

Our problem? We have to find this woman and stop her.

Going Big? Go Home!

My wife sidled up to me last night and asked: "Would you like a little pussy?"

I said: "I sure would, 'cause yours is as big as a house!"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Bachelor Lifestyle

What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?

Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.

You've Heard It Before

A travelling salesman's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. He gets out and goes to look for help. Soon he comes upon a farm. Not believing his luck, he knocks on the door, and a farmer answers.

"Sir," says the salesman. "Could you help me? My car's broken down, and I need a place to stay for the night."

"Sure," says the farmer. "But I only have one bed, and my very, very ugly daughter sleeps there."

"Oh, crap," says the salesman. "I'm in the wrong fucking joke."

More Than One Use

One night while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep my wife asked me a real stupid question: "Honey, why do you think god gave men a dick?"

I opened one eye and told her: "So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up!"

And that;s when the fight started...