Learn To Drive

Why are men like cars?

Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is coming.

Not Quite Like Yeezys

Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?

They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!

Get A Job

I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people.

It needs more work.

The Most Important Meal Of The Day

My wife and I were sitting at breakfast having bacon and eggs. I told her: Darling, you're just like bacon... you look, smell and taste fantastic!"

Thanks she said... before I added: "And your both killing me slowly."

And that's when the fight started...