I'm Too Old For This
How do you know when you are getting old?
When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
How do you know when you are getting old?
When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
I just bought the latest sleep-number smart bed. It detects when you're screwing your wife, locks the front door and turns on the stereo so your neighbors can't hear you. My number is 69.
What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
Forty-five pounds.
My wife and I were having our usual debate over which of two sexes... male or female... who's superior.
So I asked her: "Do you know the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?" She said, "What?"
I told her: "One's a superhero and the other is an instruction."
And that's when the fight started...