A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Until I Met A Guy Who Had No Feet...

A guy wakes up in the hospital: "Doc, I can't feel my legs!"

Doc: "That's because we amputated your arms."

Relationship Expert

What's a platonic relationship?

That's a friendship between a girl and a guy who wants to fuck her. 

Will Help The Commute

Gal tells her friend, "I just read it's against the law to go topless in the New York subway."

Her friend says, "Thank God. It's bad enough when you catch your scarf in those doors."

Brrrrrrrrrr

Last winter my wife and I were walking down the street when we passed a fancy department store window. She turned and asked me: "Sweetheart, why won't you buy me a fur coat? I'm so cold!"

I told her: "If you already knew the answer, why'd you bother asking?"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Everything Has A Purpose

My wife and I were talking anatomy. She asked if I agreed that the body is a wonderful, perfect machine. I told her a woman's body has one purpose. She asked what?

I told her life support for her pussy.

And that's when the fight started...

You Don't Have To Be An Epidemiologist

Question: Which is more vicious... Killer Bees or Asian Murder Hornets?

Answer: My ex-wife.

A Hobby For My Old Age

A doctor examining a little old man tells him, "You're suffering from exhaustion. How often do you have sex?"

​The old guy says, "Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."

The doc says, "Well, that could be the problem. Maybe you should try eliminating Wednesdays."

The old guy replies, "I can't, Doc. That's the only night I go home."