A guy drives into a tiny southern town and parks in front of the one building in town that's marked General Store. He gets out and spots an old guy sitting and rocking on the porch. He says to the old guy, "What a God-forsaken place. What do you people do around here?"
The old guy says, "We don't do nothin' but hunt 'n fuck." The stranger asks, "What do you hunt?"
The old guy says, "Somethin' to fuck."
What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.
How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?
He's smoking a cigarette.
A farmer and his wife were lying in bed after a little quickie. The farmer stroked his wife's bare breasts and said, "Y'know, honey, if these gave milk, we could sell the cow."
Sighing, his wife grabbed her husband's dick and said: "And if this stayed hard a little longer, we could fire the farmhand."
And that's when the fight started...