A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

The Time Is Now

Wife: "Will you love me when I'm old and fat?"

Husband: "I do."

And that's when the fight started...

The Clock Is Ticking

What's the definition of eternity?

The time between when you cum and when she leaves.

The Down Under

How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.

What's The Scoop

I came home last night with a half gallon of rocky road and asked my wife: "Want some ice cream?" So she responded: "How hard is it?" I told her with a wink: "As hard as my dick!"

She said: "Great, pour me some."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Who Likes Bananas?

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

Grandma Is Rockin' The Boat

I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69.

She said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

Ask and You Shall Receive

Guy walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "What'll you have buddy?" The guys says: "Surprise me."

So the bartender pulls out a naked picture of the guy's wife!