They Have A Name For That

What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?

A tearjerker.

Soon Enough Young Man

Little Johnny in the bathtub points at his dick: "Mommy, is my brain in there?"

"Not yet, sweetie."

No Luck Here

The difference between buying a lottery ticket and fighting with your wife?

You have a chance at winning the lottery.

Take Out The Trash

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.

I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."

And that's when the fight started...