Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?
No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.
What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look way better at night than any jar of cold cream.
And that's when the fight started...