Who Likes Flowers?

What's better than a rose on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

This Way And That Way

A guy was complaining to his buddy that his new girlfriend was really kinky. His friend asked him: "How so?"

"Well" came the answer, "All she wants me to do is screw her in the ear." "In the ear? Wow. That is weird," his buddy remarked.

"Yeah," the guy continued. "Every time I go to stick my dick in her mouth, she turns her head."

A Lot On The Side

How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?

You start asking your wife for sex.

You Learn Something New Everyday

I was scewing my wife when suddenly I stopped and didn't move. She asked: "What are you doing?"

I told her: "I saw this online on a porn site. It's called buffering"

And that's when the fight started...