DJ of the Day

I have a a real problem with sex and booze...

Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.

A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?"

She says, "What's that?"

He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."

Guy to his friend: "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes & no clothes to wear."

Friend tells him: "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."

Husband asks: "Should I watch porn or hockey?"

Wife: "Watch porn. You already know how to play hockey."

And that's when the fight started...

I was in bed with this chick last night. She turned to me and whispered in a low, sexy voice: "I want tonight to be magical"

So I fucked her and disappeared.

Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?

Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.

I don't wanna brag, but my dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures. Get that ladies?

Dick's Joke of the Day