As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife. She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh." The husband sadly turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"
A guy is at the funeral home viewing his wife's coffin with a sad look on his face. His friend walks up to comfort him and says: "Don't worry Harry, you'll meet another woman."
"I know," Harry replied, "but what am I going to do tonight?"
We were getting ready in the bathroom together when my wife started putting her deodorant on. Thinking she was being cute she asked: "What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?"
I told her: "The back of my hand."
And that's when the fight started...