A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

She's The Boss

A third-grade teacher is getting to know her class on the first day of school. She turns to one little girl and asks, "So what does your daddy do?"

The little girl replies, "Whatever Mommy tells him to."

A Penis Enlarger That Really Works

My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.

She's twenty-five... her name's Beverly.

Can You Build Things? Check Your Mail!

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

Brrrrrrrrrr

Last winter my wife and I were walking down the street when we passed a fancy department store window. She turned and asked me: "Sweetheart, why won't you buy me a fur coat? I'm so cold!"

I told her: "If you already knew the answer, why'd you bother asking?"

And that's when the fight started...

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The Spoils Of War

An elderly Italian man went to his parish priest to make confession. He told the priest, "Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess." said the priest.

"It's worse, Father. I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with sex" continued the old man. The priest thought for a moment then told him, "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you both would have suffered terribly if the Germans had found you were hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the bad, and judge you kindly."

"Thanks, Father." said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Say, can I ask one more question?" "Certainly, my son." said the priest. The old man asked him, "Do I need to tell her the war's over?"

Safety in the Kitchen

Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The fireman giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked: "Does anyone know what this is?"

Little Johnny's hand shot up and he said: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"

Put Your Foot On The Brake

Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?

He said he could stop anytime.