Ahhh... The Things That Lovers Text To Each Other
Girl texts: "If you're sleeping, send your dreams ... if you're laughing, send your smile."
Boyfriend texts back: "Taking a shit... Please advise."
Girl texts: "If you're sleeping, send your dreams ... if you're laughing, send your smile."
Boyfriend texts back: "Taking a shit... Please advise."
A guy and his date were parked on lovers lane at the top of a hill overlooking the city. Just as he made his move the gal stopped him and said: “I really should've told you this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker. If you want to get laid tonight it'll cost you 30 bucks.” Reluctantly the guy forked over the money, then screwed her in the back seat.
When they got back in front the guy just sat in the driver’s seat staring out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” the girl asked. “Well," the guy said, "I should've mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver... and the fare back to town is $35.00!”
How's a sun-tanned girl like a roast chicken?
The white parts are the best.
A guy and his wife are out for a drive in the country. They pass a field where they see a bull mount six cows in a row, one after the other. The wife remarks: "Too bad you can't perform like that."
The husband replies: "I could... if I get to change cows every time!"
And that's when the fight started...