My Favorite Pastime
I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.
Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."
I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.
Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck on his dick!
Husband and wife are fast asleep when the phone rings at two o'clock in the morning. The husband picks up the phone and says: "Hello?... How the heck do I know? What am I, the weatherman?" Then he slams the phone down.
His wife rolls over and asks: "Who was that?" The husband replies: "I don't know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."
I thought I would kid my wife a little, so I said: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, it's too long."
She shot back: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."
And that's when the fight started...