Relationship Expert
What's a platonic relationship?
That's a friendship between a girl and a guy who wants to fuck her.
What's a platonic relationship?
That's a friendship between a girl and a guy who wants to fuck her.
I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.
Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.
What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?
Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.
I was talking to my buddy on the phone when my wife walked in. It being Valentine's day she must have been curious when she heard me say:
"I gotta tell ya... I really spoiled her today..."
So with her curiosity running wild she continued to eavesdrop and heard the rest.
"First I bought her a lovely new scent.
Then I rubbed essential oils into her beautiful body.
And then I did the hoovering and the dusting.
Man, I really love that car."
And that's when the fight started...