DJ of the Day

What two things can get a woman pregnant when they're in the air?

Her feet.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"

Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

One night while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep my wife asked me a real stupid question: "Honey, why do you think god gave men a dick?"

I opened one eye and told her: "So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up!"

And that;s when the fight started...

A drunk wakes up in a cemetery in a freshly-dug grave. He thinks: If I'm alive, why's there a tombstone? If I'm dead, why do I have to piss?

Dear Santa,

I've been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Well, more like once in a while...

Oh f*ck it I'll buy my own shit!

- Billy

Husband: "What would you like for your anniversary, Sylvia?"

Wife: "A divorce, Bernie."

Husband: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

And that's when the fight started...

Dick's Joke of the Day