A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

A Kosher Turkey

How is a Jewish woman like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Her husband only gets to stuff her once a year.

That Big?

I don't wanna brag, but my dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures. Get that ladies?

Salad

What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?

Seizure Salad.

And When You Die...

My wife and I were having our usual back and forth when I finally got frustrated and told her: "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"

"Yeah?" she replied. " Well, when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Doctor Was A Big Help

My buddy was jerking off way too much, so he went to a shrink. Good move. So far he's been able to control his compulsive masturbating. Now he doesn't jerk off nearly as much. He says it feels like he got a huge load off his chest.

Grandma Is Rockin' The Boat

I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69.

She said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

She's Smoking!

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.