Breaking A Bad Habit

How do you get your wife to stop sucking her thumb?

Draw a dick on it.

Staying Hard

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?

He changed his mind. Decided to stick it out for one more year!

Very Descriptive

What would you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a box with his arms and legs?

Kit.

Get A Little Culture

I took my wife to the art gallery. The 1st picture was a naked women with a small patch of leaves over her private parts. My wife didn't like it so she said: "Let's keep going."

When I didn't follow right away she turned and asked: "What are you waiting for?"

I told her: "Autumn."

And that's when the fight started...