A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Needs More Duct Tape

What's the best thing about duct tape?

It turns, "No! No!," into "Mmm! Mmm!"

An Adventure With No Clothes

I love an adventure & a challenge. So I joined a nudist colony.

1st day was the hardest, but I stuck it out.

College Rules

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students about the dormitory rules: "The women's dorm will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the men's dorm will be off limits to all female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

One male student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"

The Most Important Meal Of The Day

My wife and I were sitting at breakfast having bacon and eggs. I told her: Darling, you're just like bacon... you look, smell and taste fantastic!"

Thanks she said... before I added: "And your both killing me slowly."

And that's when the fight started...

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A Real Knock Out

What do Dracula's girlfriend and a washed up boxer have in common?

They both go down for the count!

My Wife Was Feeling Sick

Before I left for work my wife told me she wasn't feeling well. I told her: "Don't worry honey, you're not really sick."

She asked: "How do you know?"

I told her: "Because I didn't have to carry you downstairs to make my breakfast."

And that's when the fight started.

Out To Lunch

Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.