Go For The Gold!
I told my wife, "Honey, I bought some Olympic condoms today. I think I'll wear Gold tonight."
She replied, "Why not wear Silver and not finish first for a change?"
And that's when the fight started...
I told my wife, "Honey, I bought some Olympic condoms today. I think I'll wear Gold tonight."
She replied, "Why not wear Silver and not finish first for a change?"
And that's when the fight started...
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip-off!
Lifehack: How do you find a needle in a haystack?
Easy... burn the fuckin' hay! Any more questions?
I was talking to my buddy on the phone when my wife walked in. It being Valentine's day she must have been curious when she heard me say:
"I gotta tell ya... I really spoiled her today..."
So with her curiosity running wild she continued to eavesdrop and heard the rest.
"First I bought her a lovely new scent.
Then I rubbed essential oils into her beautiful body.
And then I did the hoovering and the dusting.
Man, I really love that car."
And that's when the fight started...