A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Who's My Real Dad?

A son asks, "Dad, how come I have brown skin and you are white?"

"Well son, just take a look at your mother,".

"But Dad, she's not black either."

"I know, you idiot! She's a fucking whore!"

That Big? Really?

My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.

Bench Warmers

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA.

Light My Fire

A guy's wife was totally letting herself go. So he tells her: "Your butt is getting huge. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" That night in bed, he tries to make a move on her and she totally shuts him down. "What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for just one little weenie?"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Some Fun In The Sun

Shirley was sitting on a beach in Florida, trying to strike up a conversation with the attractive guy reading his book on the blanket next to her.

"Hi" she said. "Do you like movies?" "Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book.

Shirley persisted, "Do you like gardening?" The man looked up again. "Yes, I do," he said politely before returning to his reading.

Undaunted, Shirley asked, "Do you like pussycats?"

With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Shirley, pulled her bottoms off, and proceeded to pound her right there on the beach. As the cloud of sand began to settle, Shirley dragged herself upright and panted, "Wow... how did you know that was what I wanted?"

The guy thought a bit and replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

I'm Going To Disneyland!

A guy wanted to have sex with his wife. So he gave her a wink and popped a Viagra.

His wife looked at him and said: "You know why Viagra is just like Disneyland? They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride!"

And that's when the fight started...

Finger Lickin' Kentucky Fried Chicken!

Why is a woman like the lunch special at Kentucky Fried Chicken?

By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.