DJ of the Day

My wife suggested: "Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!"

So I told her: "Sure... but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on."

And that's when the fight started...

I have a a real problem with sex and booze...

Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.

What do you call a 350-pound stripper?

Broke.

My wife tried to goad me, "Our next door neighbor tells me her husband can make love to her 3X a day. Why can't you do that?"

I told her, "Because she always says, 'No, we might get caught.' "

And that's when the fight started...

What's the recipe for a Honeymoon Salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Johnson finds wife in bed with a friend, shoots him.

"Keep behaving like that you'll lose all your friends." she snaps at him.

And that's when the fight started...

You know old Dick tries to stay pretty busy. Last week I did a benefit for the "Tempura House"... that's a shelter for lightly battered women.

Dick's Joke of the Day