I want you to know I'm famous for more than just this website. My dick was in the Guiness Book of World Records.
Until the librarian kicked me out.
My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.
I'm not some kind of stud.
I'm a lazy bastard postman.
I razzed my wife: "I shoulda never got married. Why buy the whole cow when I was gettin' the milk for free?"
She snapped back: "Yeah? Well I got stuck with the whole pig for just one little sausage."
And that's when the fight started...