A father has three daughters who are all getting married on the same day.
He asks his oldest daughter, "Whom do you wish to marry?" She says, "Father, I wish to marry the man with three dragons on his chest."
He walks over to his second daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, "Father, I wish to marry the man with two dragons on his chest."
He then goes to his youngest daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, "I wish to marry the man with one draggin' on the floor!"
What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight?
A power failure.
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the bike, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.."
And that's when the fight started...