My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"
And that's when the fight started...
His date warned him: "My mama made me promise I'd say 'NO' to all your advances."
He says: "Sure, no problem. You wouldn't mind if I fucked you in the ass, would ya?"
The difference between a redneck & poor white trash? Redneck knocks his sister up, white trash marries her.
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
...so, I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight started...