Better rethink this one

Old Dick Johnson sometimes has to re-think relationships.

Right now I think I'm spending way too much time with my girlfriend's family... I think her husband is getting suspicious.

#NSFW

Here's my observation about work and productivity:

It would be a lot easier to be a hard worker if my company didn’t block access to porn sites on the internet.

A Dwarf And A Midget

What do a dwarf and a midget have in common?

Very little.

Cause We're Trading Places

After dinner last night my wife looked at me with those eyes of hers and sweetly asked: "Honey, is it OK if we change positions tonight?" "Sure" I replied.

"Great" She said, "You do the dishes and I'll go sit on the couch and fart!"

And that's when the fight started...