After many years of marriage a husband up and tells his wife he wished she had bigger breasts. "How am I supposed to get bigger breasts?" she asks. "That’s simple." he says, "Just rub them with toilet paper every day." "What the hell is that supposed to do?" his wife shot back.
"Well," answered her husband, "It worked for your ass!"
And that's when the fight started...
How do you know when a male porn star is at the gas station?
Right before the gas stops pumping he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car.
Why do blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.
The other night my wife and I were in bed and I asked her: "Honey, why do you like it so much when you are on top?"
She said: "'Cause all you do is fuck up."
And that's when the fight started...