In the Spirit of the Season

Have you heard about the new line of tampons with bells and tinsel?

It's for the Christmas period.

I Have One Question

Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)

Best Way To Go

When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather...in his sleep.

Not screaming like the other passengers in his car.

Pay Back Is A Bitch

I was furious when I found our joint checking account was empty. When I confronted my wife all she said was, "It's my turn." "What do you mean, your turn?" I shot back.

"In bed," she told me, "you've been making early withdrawals for years. Now... it's my turn."

And that's when the fight started...