Before I left for work my wife told me she wasn't feeling well. I told her: "Don't worry honey, you're not really sick."
She asked: "How do you know?"
I told her: "Because I didn't have to carry you downstairs to make my breakfast."
And that's when the fight started.
A guy bends his wife over the kitchen table and fucks her in the ass. When he's finished he asks: "Did you like that?"
She tells him: "I'd have liked it a lot more if the kids were done eating."
If a guy and a girl need a marriage license what do lesbians need?
A liquor license.
A farmer and his wife were lying in bed after a little quickie. The farmer stroked his wife's bare breasts and said, "Y'know, honey, if these gave milk, we could sell the cow."
Sighing, his wife grabbed her husband's dick and said: "And if this stayed hard a little longer, we could fire the farmhand."
And that's when the fight started...