Now That's A Mess

I once went on date with a girl who didn't swallow.

There was soup everywhere!

Too Soon

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?

Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

For The Team

What do cheerleaders say after sex?

"Thanks, guys!".

My Wife Loves To Bake

I came home one evening and my wife was in the kitchen crying.

She told me she had baked me a pie and the dog ate it.

I told her: "Don't cry honey. I'll buy you another dog."

And that's when the fight started.