A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Religious Instruction

Teacher: "What do you know about the Resurrection?"
 
Johnny: "If it lasts more than 4 hrs call your doctor."

Normal Reaction

I love a massage. But the other day they sent in a man, which for me is a little weird... know what I mean?

Anyway, at one point I finally had to ask, 'Is it normal to get an erection?' He says, 'Sure.' So I told him, "OK fine, but can you get it out of my face?"

You're Having My Baby

Guy goes to his boss and asks for a day off, proudly saying: "My wife's gonna have a baby!" The boss tells him of course you can take the day off.

Two days later the guy shows up for work and the boss asks him: "So... was it a boy or a girl."

The guy replies: "How do I know... it takes nine months!"

The Girls Do This All The Time

Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?"

"Well, at least you tried..."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Sometimes You Need A Break In The Action

Two Syrian hookers were talking about their problems. One said: "With the Russians jumping into this war we've got soldiers lined up around the block. I need a break!"

Her girlfriend agreed: "Yeah... I think we need to declare a no fly zone."

Doctor Patient Confidentiality

A guy goes to see his doctor. In the exam room the doctor asks, "What brings you here today?" The guy says, "Before I show you, you have to promise not to laugh." The doctor nods, and the guys pulls down his pants and reveals an incredibly small penis.

Holding back laughter, the doctor manages to ask, "What exactly is the problem?"

The guy tells him, "Can't you see doc... it's swollen."

A Question For Dad

A son asks his father: "What's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'."

His father thinks for a moment then says: "Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with George Clooney for a million bucks."

So he does and mom says: "You bet I would!" The boy reports back to his father but still doesn't understand.

So the father says: "Now, go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks."

Off he goes to ask his sister and her reply is: "Absolutely!"

Finally the boy goes back to his dad and says: "I think I get it pop. 'Potentially' we are sitting on two million dollars here... but in 'reality' we're living with a couple of whores."