A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

By Any Other Name

What do you call a guy with a small dick?

Justin!

What do you call a guy with a giant dick?

Phil!

The Harder They Suck...

What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.

Most Injuries Occur At Home

The only thing wrong with sex on television is that you could fall off.

Up Or Down?

The other night my wife and I were in bed and I asked her: "Honey, why do you like it so much when you are on top?"

She said: "'Cause all you do is fuck up."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

That's Pretty Tight!

A priest gets a flat tire fixed.

As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"

The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."

The priest says, "You better give them another turn."

Good Advice

I'm feeling a bit more mature these days so I wasn't embarrassed walking into the drug store to buy condoms. That is, until the woman behind the counter advised me, 'Save your money -- buy a lottery ticket.'

Just A Little Peak

Mr. & Mrs. Johnson are at the bank when an armed robber bursts in. Realizing he forgot his mask, the robber makes everyone lie face down and warns them not to look at him or he'll shoot.

Sure enough one stupid customer sneaks a look, and BAM! the robber shoots him on the spot. The robber then asks if anyone else had seen his face.

Johnson, continuing to gaze intently at the floor, shouts out "I think my wife got a glimpse."

And that's when the fight started...