I know that newspapers are losing out to the Internet, but think about it... how many newspapers can a woman hold between her legs?
Easy! One Post, two Globes, and many Times. And I wouldn't mind a morning and an evening edition. Yeah... I like a woman who's into the hard news.
OK... I'm done.
Shirley was sitting on a beach in Florida, trying to strike up a conversation with the attractive guy reading his book on the blanket next to her.
"Hi" she said. "Do you like movies?" "Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book.
Shirley persisted, "Do you like gardening?" The man looked up again. "Yes, I do," he said politely before returning to his reading.
Undaunted, Shirley asked, "Do you like pussycats?"
With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Shirley, pulled her bottoms off, and proceeded to pound her right there on the beach. As the cloud of sand began to settle, Shirley dragged herself upright and panted, "Wow... how did you know that was what I wanted?"
The guy thought a bit and replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
You don't have to vaccinate all your children.
Just the ones you want to keep.
My wife was at the sink grousing about the dishes again. She asked me: "How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?"
I told her: "Both of them."
And that's when the fight started...