A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

How To Spend a Fun Afternoon

A cop pulls a guy over with a pickup truck full of penguins. He says:"You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy says OK, and drives off.

The next day, the cop sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, only now they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over again and barks at him: "I thought I told you yesterday to take these penguins to the zoo?"

The guy answers back: "I did ... today we're going to the beach!"

Biology or Cooking Class

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.

A Smart Blonde?!

How is Santa Claus like a smart blonde?

They both don't exist!

A Change For The Worse


My wife was telling me all about this new transgender thing... you know, where guys turn themselves into women. I said to her: "Yeah. Well that ain't nothin' You know how to turn a fox into an elephant?"

She said: "How?" I told her: "Marry it."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Some Bad News

Cop at door "Looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"

"Yeah but she's a nice person & good with the kids"

Perfecta

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He says, "What was that for?"

She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it." He says, "Jesus, honey...remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on."

She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with the frying pan again.

He says, "What was that for?" She says, "Your horse called."

Those Red Heads

Cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy what do you get?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.