Easy To Figure Out

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

World Renown

I want you to know I'm famous for more than just this website. My dick was in the Guiness Book of World Records.

Until the librarian kicked me out.

Let's Pretend

Sally: "Let's play house."

Little Johnny: "What do I do?"

Sally: "Communicate your feelings."

Johnny: "How do I do that?"

Sally: "Perfect. You can be the husband!"

Another Perspective On Marriage

I razzed my wife: "I shoulda never got married. Why buy the whole cow when I was gettin' the milk for free?"

She snapped back: "Yeah? Well I got stuck with the whole pig for just one little sausage."

And that's when the fight started...