Life is like a dick. Simple soft straight relaxed & hanging free.
Then a woman comes along & makes it hard.
A man went to the police station looking for a chance to question the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sargent.
“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"
"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
And that's when the fight started...