A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Snowman!

What is the difference between a female snowman and a male snowman?

Snowballs.

Another Problem To Solve

Hired a 19 year-old Danish girl with huge tits to babysit.

Now where the fuck am I going to get some kids?

I'd Like To See All Three

What's the difference between love, true love, and just showing off?

Spit, swallow, and gargle

Want A Spanking?

My wife and I were discussing babies and she had a thought. "Why do doctors spank newborn babies?"

I told her: "To knock the dicks off the stupid ones."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Seize The Moment

A guy comes home from work and finds his wife on her hands and knees in the kitchen scrubbing the floor. She only has an apron on so the husband gets a big hard on. Seizing the moment he quickly slips it in and starts humping her doggie style. When he's through he pulls out and at the same time hits her real hard up side the head.

"What was that for?" the wife screamed "Here I am being so nice to you, letting you really enjoy yourself. Why'd you hit me?"

The husband looks at her and says "For not looking back to see who it was."

Blonde Snowman

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?

Because you have to hollow out the head.

Advice From Dad

Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."

Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."