A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

A Letter To Santa

Dear Santa,

I've been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Well, more like once in a while...

Oh f*ck it I'll buy my own shit!

- Billy

What Did Your Momma Give You?

Why are black guys dicks bigger than white guys?

Because as kids white guys had toys to play with!

Who I'm Voting For

Many people have been asking who I'm voting for in the next election. My answer:

"To tell you the truth, I'm never voting again...Because voting is like marriage, no matter who you choose, it turns out bad."

I've Had Better

On our honeymoon night I asked my bride, "Honey... am I the first?"

She replied, "Why does everybody ask that?"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Lot On The Side

How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?

You start asking your wife for sex.

Mowing The Lawn

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the bike, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.."

And that's when the fight started...

Low IQ

What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

"Good morning, Your Honor."