Little Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way.
Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearin' your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards!"
Broke hooker to girlfriend while walking the streets together: "Lend me 10 bucks till I'm on my back again"
A little Native American boy asks the chief how babies in their tribe get their names.
The chief replies, "When a baby is born, his father takes him outside the teepee, holds him over his head, and names him after the first thing he sees - like 'Running-Wolf' or 'Flying-Cloud'. Why do you ask, Two-Dogs-Screwing?"
My wife and I were discussing the recent death of a friend. She asked me: "Why do you think men die before their wives?"
I said: "Because they want to."
And that's when the fight started...