Biggest Turkey You Got

A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No. They're dead."

In Need of Repair

Why are women like a storm door?

The more you bang 'em ... the looser they get.

And once that happens ... not even a longer screw can fix it.

It's Always in a Bar

A termite walks into a bar and asks: "Where's the bar tender?"

It's A Celebration

My wife smiled at breakfast this morning and said: "Today is our anniversary darling... what should we do?"

I told her: "Stand in silence for 2 minutes."

And that;s when the fight started...