The Time Is Now

Wife: "Will you love me when I'm old and fat?"

Husband: "I do."

And that's when the fight started...

The Clock Is Ticking

What's the definition of eternity?

The time between when you cum and when she leaves.

The Down Under

How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.

What's The Scoop

I came home last night with a half gallon of rocky road and asked my wife: "Want some ice cream?" So she responded: "How hard is it?" I told her with a wink: "As hard as my dick!"

She said: "Great, pour me some."

And that's when the fight started...