He Oughta Be Hit With That Ruler
My wife caught me measuring my dick and snickered: "So how long is it?"
I told her: "Long enough to reach the back of your sister's throat!"
And that's when the fight started...
My wife caught me measuring my dick and snickered: "So how long is it?"
I told her: "Long enough to reach the back of your sister's throat!"
And that's when the fight started...
Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.
A cop pulls a guy over one night for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."
"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."
"Alright, we'll take a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."
"Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk."
My wife asked me: "Why do you go out on the balcony every time I start to sing?"
I told her: "I don't want the neighbors to think I'm beating you."
And that's when the fight started...