There's A Card For Everything
Hallmark Card fail:
"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."
Hallmark Card fail:
"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."
Two stock brokers are checking out a new secretary.
The first one says, "She's got nothing going on upstairs."
The second one says, "That wouldn't be the floor I'd be getting off on."
Honeymoon morning after. Wife: "You're a lousy lover."
Husband: "How can you tell after only 30 seconds?"
For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks him what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie.
He tells her, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and fuck your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" she asks,
He says, "Mission accomplished!"
And that's when the fight started...