Wait For It
Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin...
.
.
.
.
.
and tonic.
Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"
Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin...
.
.
.
.
.
and tonic.
Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"
Three guys are arguing about who has the longest dick, and they decide the only way to find out once and for all is to go to the Observation Deck of the Empire State Building and hang them over the side.
The first guy says, "Check it out. My pecker reaches down to the 68th floor." The second guy says, "That's nothing. This beauty's dangling down past the 34th floor."
They look over and see the third guy jumping up and down and back and forth. The first guy yells at him, "What the hell are you doing?" He says, "Dodgin' traffic."
His dad came home from a week-long business trip to find Little Johnny with a brand new mountain bike. "How'd you get that, son?" his dad asked. "By hiking" was Little Johnny's reply. "Hiking?" his dad asked in surprise.
"Yeah. Every night last week Mr. Johnson came over and gave me twenty bucks to take a hike."
My wife and I were having a discussion about heaven. I told her she shouldn't worry 'cause she'll never get there. She asked: "How can you say that?"
I told her: "Because dragons never fly above 8,000 feet."
And that's when the fight started...