I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look way better at night than any jar of cold cream.
And that's when the fight started...
A married couple is remodeling their home and getting new doors so the husband asks his wife to go get hinges. She goes to the hardware store, picks out the hinges, and pays for them. As she is leaving the clerk realizes that she didn't get a screw for the hinge and says "Hey! Do you want a screw for that hinge?"
She looks at him and says "No..,. but I'll blow you for a microwave"
What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo
My wife and I were having a discussion about heaven. I told her she shouldn't worry 'cause she'll never get there. She asked: "How can you say that?"
I told her: "Because dragons never fly above 8,000 feet."
And that's when the fight started...