Get Back In The Kitchen!

My wife asked me to get her a watch for her birthday.

I told her, "What for...there's a clock on the stove!"

And that's when the fight started...

Dog Lifestyle

The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.

The Secret is Out

A guy was complaining to his buddy: "Man, I had it all - money, a big house, a luxury car, and most of all the love of a beautiful woman. And then POOF... just like that it was gone!"

'What happened?' asked his friend.

"My wife found out..."

Why Don't You Kiss Me Like That?

I was walking in the park the other day with my wife when she pointed to a young couple sitting on a bench, passionately kissing. "Why don't you do that?" she asked.

"Honey," I replied, "I don't even know that woman!"

And that's when the fight started...