A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Warm Apple Pie

What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?

You can eat your Mom's apple pie.

Leaves A Bad Taste In Your Mouth

You know why you should never drink diet soda during oral sex?

Because that way you'll have two after-tastes to get rid of.

Good Advice

I'm feeling a bit more mature these days so I wasn't embarrassed walking into the drug store to buy condoms. That is, until the woman behind the counter advised me, 'Save your money -- buy a lottery ticket.'

I Always Wonder Why

It was our anniversary and I was reminiscing with my wife. She asked if I could remember way back when.

I told her: "You know honey, I can remember where we got married and I can remember when we got married... I just can’t remember why."

And that's when the fight started.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Let's Just Pretend

A new bride was embarrassed to be on her honeymoon. When she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear as if they had been married a long time.

He responded, "Sure. You carry the luggage!"

And that's when the fight started...

Going Postal

My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.

I'm not some kind of stud.

I'm a lazy bastard postman.

Can't Wait To Get There

I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.

The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!