I love a massage. But the other day they sent in a man, which for me is a little weird... know what I mean?
Anyway, at one point I finally had to ask, 'Is it normal to get an erection?' He says, 'Sure.' So I told him, "OK fine, but can you get it out of my face?"
Two guys were talkin' at the bar. The first one told his buddy: "My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked, 'Is that the best you can do?'"
A woman who was beaten black and blue, goes to the doctor. The doc asks: "What happened?" She tells him: "I don’t know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp."
The doctor says: "I have the perfect solution for you. Whenever your husband comes home in that state, just grab a glass of iced tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle."
Two weeks later she returns and looks reborn and fresh again. "Doc," she says, "That was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled with the tea. I gargled and gargled and nothing happened."
The doctor smiled knowingly. "You see how keeping your mouth shut helps!"
My wife thought I was too damn bossy, always acting like a typical male, so she called me a male chauvinist pig.
I looked at her sweetly and said: "Honey, the only thing worse than a male chauvinist pig is a woman who won't do what she's told."
And that's when the fight started...