A koala bear walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender points to a cute little trick at the end of the bar. So the koala bear walks up to her and in a few minutes they're heading to her place. When they get they're the koala bear immediately goes down on her. After a few minutes he jumps up and splits.
The next night, the woman spots the koala bear at the bar again and confronts him saying: "You owe me money!" "For what?" the koala asks. The woman rolls her eyes and tells him, "I'm a prostitute." The koala bear pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The koala says, "I don't owe you a thing. I'm a koala bear. Look it up." Before she can protest the koala hands her the dictionary.
The woman looks up "koala bear" and reads, "Koala bear: Eats bush and leaves.”
If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.
Your lawyer will thank you.
A man and his wife are setting up the password on their new computer. The man trying to be clever types in "MyPenis", the computer denies it.
His wife says, "I told you it wasn't long enough!"
And that's when the fight started...