DJ of the Day

What's the best thing about dating homeless chicks?

You can drop them off anywhere.

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?

Your wife will always blow your bonus!

What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seat belt.

Last year, I bought my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

This year I didn't buy her anything..

When my wife asked me why I didn't buy her mother a gift this year I told her "Hey, she never used the gift I bought her last year!"

And that's when the fight started...

A man and his wife are setting up the password on their new computer. The man trying to be clever types in "MyPenis", the computer denies it.

His wife says, "I told you it wasn't long enough!"

And that's when the fight started...

How do you turn a fox into a cow?

Marry her.

Why are cowgirls like cow pies?

The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

Dick's Joke of the Day