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Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?
No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.
Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?
No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.
What's the worst thing about anal sex with a horse?
When it's his turn.
A lady takes her husband to the doctor's office.
After his check-up, the doctor calls her into his office and says, "Your husband is suffering from a very serious disease, which, combined with stress, will kill him in a few months. What you have to do is, each morning, fix him a nice breakfast, and be pleasant. Make him a nice lunch to take to work, and for dinner, make meals for him you know he'll enjoy. Don't give him too much to do around the house, especially after he's had a hard day. And don't burden him with too many of your problems, because that'll only increase his stress. And most importantly, make love to him a couple of times a week, and try to give him oral sex once a month or so. If you can do this for the next ten months, I think your husband could regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband says, "What did the doctor say?"
She says, "He said you're gonna die."
My wife suggested: "Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!"
So I told her: "Sure... but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on."
And that's when the fight started...