Another Problem To Solve

Hired a 19 year-old Danish girl with huge tits to babysit.

Now where the fuck am I going to get some kids?

Ten Items or Less

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

Put Her In Her Place

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told her twice.

No Guarantees in the After Life

My wife and I were having a discussion about heaven. I told her she shouldn't worry 'cause she'll never get there. She asked: "How can you say that?"

I told her: "Because dragons never fly above 8,000 feet."

And that's when the fight started...