Dog Lifestyle

The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.

Valentines Day Cards

A guy was organizing his cards for Valentine's Day and realized he made a huge mistake!

"For fucks sake, what a mess to sort out. I can't believe I've mixed their Valentine's Day cards up.

The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her."

Don't Drink And Drive

Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.

Ringling Brothers

My wife was about to start her morning nag when I shot out: "You know our marriage is like a three-ring circus..."

And before she could comment I told her why: "First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering!"

And that's when the fight started...