A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

Dick's Joke of the Day

Who's My Real Dad?

A son asks, "Dad, how come I have brown skin and you are white?"

"Well son, just take a look at your mother,".

"But Dad, she's not black either."

"I know, you idiot! She's a fucking whore!"

Keeping It In The Family

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

Get A Job

I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people.

It needs more work.

In-Laws Can Be The Worst

A young couple were driving down country road in total silence, having had a little disagreement at their last stop. As they passed a barnyard full of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?"

"Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Finger Lickin' Kentucky Fried Chicken!

Why is a woman like the lunch special at Kentucky Fried Chicken?

By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

Can You Even Say This Anymore?

What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being a retard.

But It Looked So Delicious

My wife and I attended a lecture on diet and health given by a prominent doctor.

"The things we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago." He said. "Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode our stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous. And none of us realize the long-term harm caused by impurities in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten it, or will eat it. Can anyone tell me what we eat that causes the most grief and suffering lasting for years after we eat it?"

I leaned over to my wife and whispered "I think he means wedding cake."

And that's when the fight started...