Not Like The Chicken
Why'd my wife cross the road?
To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.
Why'd my wife cross the road?
To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.
Little Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way.
Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearin' your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards!"
A car was driving recklessly down the street, swerving left and right. When it whizzed past a cop he pulled it over. A blonde rolled down the window and said, " Officer, I'm so glad you're here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting them!"
The officer looked at her and said, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
My wife kinda had second thoughts about the first sex video I had talked her into making, so she said she wanted it back.
I said, "OK, but you'll have to pay twenty bucks, just like everybody else."
And that's when the fight started...