No Need To Call The Police
It's Valentine's day! So ladies, don't you worry about getting me what you got me last year.
I have enough restraining orders already.
It's Valentine's day! So ladies, don't you worry about getting me what you got me last year.
I have enough restraining orders already.
A brunette tells her blonde sister "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."
The blonde sister replies "I thought I was the slut! How many is a Brazilian?"
An elderly Italian man went to his parish priest to make confession. He told the priest, "Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess." said the priest.
"It's worse, Father. I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with sex" continued the old man. The priest thought for a moment then told him, "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you both would have suffered terribly if the Germans had found you were hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the bad, and judge you kindly."
"Thanks, Father." said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Say, can I ask one more question?" "Certainly, my son." said the priest. The old man asked him, "Do I need to tell her the war's over?"
My wife was at the sink grousing about the dishes again. She asked me: "How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?"
I told her: "Both of them."
And that's when the fight started...