My wife called me on Valentines Day and said, "Three of the girls here in the office have just received some flowers for Valentine's Day. They are absolutely gorgeous."
I said, "That's probably why they received flowers."
And that's when the fight started...
A stockbroker calls a client and says, "Sam, I have good news and bad news."
Sam says, "Tell me the bad news first."
The stockbroker says, "I lost all of your money."
Sam says, "What's the good news?"
The stockbroker says, "I got laid last night."
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
The other night my wife and I were in bed and I asked her: "Honey, why do you like it so much when you are on top?"
She said: "'Cause all you do is fuck up."
And that's when the fight started...