An old couple sits down to breakfast on their Fiftieth Anniversary stark naked.
The wife says "Oh, Harold, this is just like fifty years ago...my breasts feel all warm and tingly..."
He says, "They ought to be, Gladys...one's hanging in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."
What's a birth control pill?
That's the other thing a girl can put in her mouth to keep from getting pregnant.
Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.
I'm laying back after screwing my wife & she whispers: "Honey, I think I'll call you the bus?"
I asked why and she said, "Because you always stop before I get off!"
And that's when the fight started...