A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

Dick's Joke of the Day

For Biology or Sex Ed?

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis.

Her mom said: "You should have asked me last night... it was on the tip of my tongue."

I Wanna Put My Balls In It!

How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?

Even the pool table has no balls.

Bench Warmers

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA.

What's The Scoop

I came home last night with a half gallon of rocky road and asked my wife: "Want some ice cream?" So she responded: "How hard is it?" I told her with a wink: "As hard as my dick!"

She said: "Great, pour me some."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Take A Little Off The Top

A priest goes to get his hair cut. When the barber's done, the priest goes to pay him, but the barber says, "No thanks, my friend. I couldn't take money from a man of the cloth." The next day the barber shows up for work and there's a dozen boxes of chocolates waiting for him with a thank you note from the priest.

That afternoon a rabbi comes in and the barber cuts his hair. When he gets done the rabbi goes to pay him, but the barber says, "No thanks, my friend, I couldn't take money from a man of the cloth."

The next day when he shows up for work, there's a dozen rabbis waiting for him.

Sex Ed

Little Johnny was in sex ed class when the teacher began a discussion about genitals. Johnny shouted out, "My old man has got two of those"

The teacher was shocked and asked Johnny to explain.

"Well, the small one he uses when he takes a piss. And the large one he uses to brush the baby sitter's teeth."

Lots Of Scarifies in Life

I told my wife I was so pleased she treated me like a God. She looked at me and asked, "What do you mean?"

I told her, "Every evening at dinner you give me a burnt offering."

And that's when the fight started...