Who Took My Pen!

A nurse walks in and says, "Doc, what are you doing?"

He says, "I'm writing a prescription."

She says, "But you're holding your thermometer."

He says, "Jesus Christ, some asshole has my pen."

The Doctor Was A Big Help

My buddy was jerking off way too much, so he went to a shrink. Good move. So far he's been able to control his compulsive masturbating. Now he doesn't jerk off nearly as much. He says it feels like he got a huge load off his chest.

A Natural Reaction

A wife went to see a therapist. "I've got a big problem. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes he lets out this ear splitting yell."

"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely normal. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"

Password Must Be At Least 8 Characters Long

A man and his wife are setting up the password on their new computer. The man trying to be clever types in "MyPenis", the computer denies it.

His wife says, "I told you it wasn't long enough!"

And that's when the fight started...