The Down Under
How's an old lady's twat like Australia?
Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.
How's an old lady's twat like Australia?
Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.
The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex... Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact family, she consulted the family doctor.
The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying, "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"
A string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry pal, we don't serve strings here."
So the string walks outside, ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back into the bar and orders a beer.
The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"
The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
I come home from work to find my wife in tears sobbing her mom passed away. She asks: "What should we do -- cremate her or bury her?"
I tell her: "Don't take any chances. Do both."
And that's when the fight started...