Ask and You Shall Receive
Guy walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "What'll you have buddy?" The guys says: "Surprise me."
So the bartender pulls out a naked picture of the guy's wife!
Guy walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "What'll you have buddy?" The guys says: "Surprise me."
So the bartender pulls out a naked picture of the guy's wife!
My dick's so big it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.
Where does a one-legged waitress work?
IHOP
What's her name?
Ilene
My wife and I attended a lecture on diet and health given by a prominent doctor.
"The things we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago." He said. "Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode our stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous. And none of us realize the long-term harm caused by impurities in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten it, or will eat it. Can anyone tell me what we eat that causes the most grief and suffering lasting for years after we eat it?"
I leaned over to my wife and whispered "I think he means wedding cake."
And that's when the fight started...