Have You Upgraded To 4K?
At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.
At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.
How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
The body parts were all arguing about who should be in charge. The heart said: "I pump the blood that keeps us all alive. I should be the boss." The lungs said: "Without us sucking air, we'd all die." And so all the parts... the eyes, the ears, the hands all made their case. Finally the brain said: "I control all of you. That makes me the right choice. I make the decisions... so I'm the boss!"
While the parts were all considering the brain's strong argument, the asshole chimed in: "I'm the most important! I want to be the boss." Whereupon all the body parts laughed in his face.
So the asshole closed up. In a few days the heart pumped slower, it was harder to breathe, the eyes were watering, the hands were weak. Finally all the parts had to agree... the asshole could be in charge.
Which proves that you don't have to have brains to be the boss, you just have to be an asshole.
My wife and I were having our usual debate over which of two sexes... male or female... who's superior.
So I asked her: "Do you know the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?" She said, "What?"
I told her: "One's a superhero and the other is an instruction."
And that's when the fight started...