My wife and I were discussing the news. I said: "What's the big deal about same-sex marriage?"
She said: "You're right. We've been married for years, and we keep having the same lousy sex."
And that's when the fight started...
A chicken and and egg are lying in bed.
The chicken begins to light up a cigarette.
The egg says: "Well... I guess that answers that question."
What actress would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?
One who knows how to fix elevators.
I came home last night with a half gallon of rocky road and asked my wife: "Want some ice cream?" So she responded: "How hard is it?" I told her with a wink: "As hard as my dick!"
She said: "Great, pour me some."
And that's when the fight started...