A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Get In The Kitchen

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

She Doesn't Give A F*ck!

What do you get when cross an attorney with a feminist?

A lawyer who won't fuck you.

Tell Me A Story

Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "

"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I'm elected.'"

I thought girls never fart, or poop!

My wife and I were talking about the differences between little boys and little girls. I asked her: "Why don't little girls fart like little boys do?"

She answered: "Because they don't get assholes until they're married."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

You Pay Extra For That

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I wouldn't pay fifty bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

Advice For Newlyweds

Keep this in mind... a honeymoon should only be for six days. Why? Because seven days make a whole week.

In fact, don't go on your honeymoon for longer than 5 days, or you will get a weak end.

Just sayin'...

The Race Is On

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots & starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."