A Snap Diagnosis

Guy goes to psychiatrist wearing only saran wrap.

The doc tells him: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

Like Father, Like Son

If my son farts or has his hands down his pants, my wife smiles and says, “Like father, like son!”

Yesterday we caught him screwing the neighbor, but for some reason it wasn’t so funny when I said it.

Every Day is Ironing Day

Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

An ironing board's legs are hard to open.

Better Than Lifting Weights

My wife and I love to work out. This morning at the gym we had a discussion. She asked me: "What do you think is the most active muscle in a woman?"

I told her: "My dick."

And that's when the fight started...