Now THIS Is Doggie Style

What'd the Polish guy say when he came home and found his best friend on top of his wife?

Down, Fido, down boy!

In A Doctor's Waiting Room

Two guys are in a doctor's waiting room. The first guy asks, "Why're you here?" The second guy says, "Endoscopy. He's going down my throat with a camera. Why're you here?"

The first guy replies, "Camera up the ass." The second guy remarks, "Oh, a colonoscopy?"

The first guy tells him, "Nah. My old lady caught me taking pictures of the neighbor's wife sunbathing naked."

Mom's Best Advice

"Mom I tied the knot."

"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."

Why Don't You Kiss Me Like That?

I was walking in the park the other day with my wife when she pointed to a young couple sitting on a bench, passionately kissing. "Why don't you do that?" she asked.

"Honey," I replied, "I don't even know that woman!"

And that's when the fight started...