A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

In the Spirit of the Season

Have you heard about the new line of tampons with bells and tinsel?

It's for the Christmas period.

I Have One Question

Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)

Best Way To Go

When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather...in his sleep.

Not screaming like the other passengers in his car.

Pay Back Is A Bitch

I was furious when I found our joint checking account was empty. When I confronted my wife all she said was, "It's my turn." "What do you mean, your turn?" I shot back.

"In bed," she told me, "you've been making early withdrawals for years. Now... it's my turn."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

What Rhymes With Hibernation?

It's the spring, and the baby bear comes out of his cave. His knees are wobbling, he's a wreck. He's skin and bones, with big circles under his eyes.

His mother says, "Junior! Did you hibernate all winter like you were supposed to?"

He says, "Hibernate? Shit! I thought you said masturbate!"

The Dangers of Modern Technology

A guy gets a text from his neighbor, "I'm really sorry Harry. I've been saddled with so much guilt that I have to confess. I've been tapping your wife day and night when you're not home. In fact, probably a lot more than you. I don't get it at home, but that's no excuse. I just can't deal with the guilt any more ... I hope you'll accept my apology and my promise that it won't happen again."

Furious, the guy grabs his gun, storms into his wife's bedroom and shoots her dead.

A few minutes later, he gets another text: "Fucking auto-correct. I meant wifi, not wife."

Liberals vs. Conservatives

What's the difference between a conservative and a liberal?

A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.