A New Accessory

My son gets behind the wheel of the car to take his first driving lesson. As mom gets in the passenger side he rolls down the window and asks: "Does this car have passenger side air bags?"

I said, "It does now."

And that's when the fight started...

In A Doctor's Waiting Room

Two guys are in a doctor's waiting room. The first guy asks, "Why're you here?" The second guy says, "Endoscopy. He's going down my throat with a camera. Why're you here?"

The first guy replies, "Camera up the ass." The second guy remarks, "Oh, a colonoscopy?"

The first guy tells him, "Nah. My old lady caught me taking pictures of the neighbor's wife sunbathing naked."

Flag At Half Staff

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

Cause We're Trading Places

After dinner last night my wife looked at me with those eyes of hers and sweetly asked: "Honey, is it OK if we change positions tonight?" "Sure" I replied.

"Great" She said, "You do the dishes and I'll go sit on the couch and fart!"

And that's when the fight started...