Most Men Talk A Lot Of Sh*t!
Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
It helps them remember which end to wipe...
Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
It helps them remember which end to wipe...
A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane. The woman sneezes, takes out a tissue, gently wipes her nose. Then she suddenly begins to shudder violently in her seat.
The man isn’t sure what's going on, so goes back to reading. A few minutes later the woman sneezes again. She grabs a tissue, gently wipes her nose and once again begins to shudder violently.
The man is becoming more and more intrigued with this shuddering thing. A few more minutes pass and sure enough she sneezes yet again. So, out comes a tissue and after a gentle wipe the shuddering starts up.
The man has finally had all he can take. So he turns to the woman and says, "Three times you’ve sneezed and three times you’ve taken a tissue and wiped your nose then you shudder violently! Are you sending me signals or what?"
The woman replies, "I’m sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm." Now the guy is feeling a little embarrassed but is even more curious. He says, "I’ve never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"
The woman looks at him and says, "Pepper."
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Range Rover when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in the shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes when the mechanic shouted across the garage: "Hey doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Range Rover. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic: "Try doing it with the engine running."
My wife wanted to test me. So she asked: "Honey, what would you do if you came home and caught me in bed with another guy."
I told her: "I'd kick his seeing eye dog."
And that's when the fight started...