How did Pinocchio find out he was made out of wood?
His hand caught fire.
A guy was complaining to his buddy that his new girlfriend was really kinky. His friend asked him: "How so?"
"Well" came the answer, "All she wants me to do is screw her in the ear." "In the ear? Wow. That is weird," his buddy remarked.
"Yeah," the guy continued. "Every time I go to stick my dick in her mouth, she turns her head."
I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?
She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."
And that's when the fight started...
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
(uhhhh....Yeah, I have the same feeling you are having! :-O)
