How did Pinocchio find out he was made out of wood?
His hand caught fire.
A guy asks his grandma, "Have you seen some pills around here? They are labeled LSD?"
His grandma replies, "Fuck your pills, there's a dragon in the kitchen!"
How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
What did Eve wear? A fig leaf.
OK... So what did Adam wear?
A hole in Eve's fig leaf.