How did Pinocchio find out he was made out of wood?
His hand caught fire.
Want to see flying saucers?
Head over to the all-night diner and grab the waitress by the ass.
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No. They're dead."
One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.
I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."
And that's when the fight started...
