Same Facts, Different Conclusion

: Created: 15 August 2017; Hits: 2197

Guy to his friend: "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes & no clothes to wear."

Friend tells him: "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."

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Switcheroo

A man went into a local bar and took a seat next to a pretty woman. He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I’m celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman, "I’m celebrating, too". She clinked glasses with him and asked, "What are you celebrating?" "I’m a chicken farmer," he replied. "For years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally fertile." "What a coincidence" the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years. Today, my gynecologist told me I’m finally pregnant!" And she clinked glasses with the farmer again.

"By the way" she asked, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I switched cocks," the farmer replied.

To which the woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence."

Cover Your Ears

How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?

Call her and tell her.

Women Are Emotional

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.

So I told her I got a girlfriend.

And that's when the fight started...