Two guys were talkin' at the bar. The first one told his buddy: "My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked, 'Is that the best you can do?'"
Little Johnny is walking along with his father and they pass two dogs that are going at it. He says, "Hey, Pop! What's happenin' over there?"
His father says, "Er... son, they're making a puppy."
That night, Little Johnny walks past his parents bedroom, and the old man's giving it to the old lady. Little Johnny says, "Hey, Pop! What's happenin' now?"
His father says, "Er...son, we're making you a baby brother."
Little Johnny says, "Well, flip her over. I'd rather have a puppy."
A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their sex lives.
"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."
"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."
When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?" "Once," he replied. "Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"