What's the difference between light and hard?
You can fall asleep with a light on.
My wife tried to goad me, "Our next door neighbor tells me her husband can make love to her 3X a day. Why can't you do that?"
I told her, "Because she always says, 'No, we might get caught.' "
And that's when the fight started...
What's the definition of a lady?
Someone who doesn't drink or smoke, and the only time she curses is when your dick slips out.
What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?
You can eat your Mom's apple pie.
