What's the difference between light and hard?
You can fall asleep with a light on.
How do they say "fuck you" in Hollywood?
Trust me.
A girl walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Give me a double entendre."
So he gave it to her.
A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"
His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."
Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"
His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"
"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."