What's the difference between light and hard?
You can fall asleep with a light on.
Last Christmas grandpa surprised eveyone and made snow angels.
He skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.
A car salesman sits down at a bar next to a hooker.
He orders a drink and says: "If I don't sell some cars I'm going to lose my ass."
The hooker looks at him and says: "Yeah... well if I don't sell some ass I'm gonna lose my car."
A girl's going across town in a cab. When she gets where she's going she discovers she has no money.
She lifts her skirt and says, "Cabbie, you want to barter?"
He takes a look and says, "Lady, haven't you got anything smaller?"
