If Gin makes you grin and Whiskey makes you frisky, what makes you pregnant?
Two highballs and a squirt.
Why is a woman like a car?
On a cold morning when you need it the most, she won't turn over.
Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"
Mother: "The stork brings them."
Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"
My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.
I told her: "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."
And that's when the fight started...