What's the difference between pink and purple?
The grip!
Why is sex like Microsoft Windows?
For everyone who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free.
What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
A woman.
Last year, I bought my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
This year I didn't buy her anything..
When my wife asked me why I didn't buy her mother a gift this year I told her "Hey, she never used the gift I bought her last year!"
And that's when the fight started...
