When's the best time to put out the cat?
When it's on fire.
A man tells his wife "I want to take a picture of your boobs so I can remember them like this forever."
The wife replies "I want to take a picture of your dick so I can enlarge it."
And that's when the fight started...
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?
A microwave doesn't brown your meat!
What do you call a 350-pound stripper?
Broke.
