Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.
When's it okay to spit in an Italian girl's face?
When her moustache is on fire.
What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?
We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving.
What... you didn't see that coming?
What do a gynecologist & a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can smell it, but they can't eat it.
