A brunette, a blonde & a redhead are all in 5th grade. Who has the biggest tits?
The blonde... she's 18!
My wife and I were watching "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said: 'Do you want to have sex?
"'No!" she answered. Then I said: "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, and just said: "Yes."
So I said: "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?
Homeless.
How do you know if your wife's dead?
You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.
