How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?
Piece of cake.
A guy takes his date back to her place. He gets her up to her bedroom where he sees a wall full of fluffy toys.
After he fucks her he asks her: "How was I?"
She says: "Take anything from the bottom shelf."
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis.
Her mom said: "You should have asked me last night... it was on the tip of my tongue."
My wife was lying in bed a little dissatisfied with my performance when she asked: "What do my clitoris, our anniversary, and the fuckin' toilet have in common?" I said "You got me."
She said: "You miss them all."
And that's when the fight started...
