What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.
My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.
She's twenty-five... her name's Beverly.
It was our anniversary and I asked my wife if she remembered out wedding vows when the minister said "for better or worse?"
She said: "Yeah... You couldn't do any better and I couldn't do any worse."
And that's when the fight started...
