What happened to the depressed dyslexic?
He threw himself behind the bus.
Did you ever think what a horrible life a dick has? Think about it... his roommates are nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and every night his owner strangles him with one hand until he throws up!
Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
Gal tells her friend, "I just read it's against the law to go topless in the New York subway."
Her friend says, "Thank God. It's bad enough when you catch your scarf in those doors."
