What is the difference between a female snowman and a male snowman?
Snowballs.
How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?
He's smoking a cigarette.
A brunette, a blonde & a redhead are all in 5th grade. Who has the biggest tits?
The blonde... she's 18!
Cop at door "Looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"
"Yeah but she's a nice person & good with the kids"