This couple gets married. After several weeks of marital bliss the guy wants to show his wife just how much she means to him. So he has "I Love You" tattooed on his dick.
One month later the wife files for divorce. When the guy asks why, she tells him: "You keep putting words in my mouth."
Three blonde men are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know how to get across.
The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river. So God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across.
The second man prays to God to make him even smarter. So God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across.
Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all. So God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.
I needed hearing aids, so I asked my doc for the latest technology. You know... the ones that connect directly to the 900 chat lines so I can listen "hands-free"... if you know what I mean.
