What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
My wife seemed a little down in the dumps. So I offered her some advice: "Honey, cheer up. Sometimes you just have to appreciate the little things in life."
She looked at me and replied: "How do you think I've stuck with you?"
And that's when the fight started...
Why's a sheep better than a woman?
A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Before I left for work my wife told me she wasn't feeling well. I told her: "Don't worry honey, you're not really sick."
She asked: "How do you know?"
I told her: "Because I didn't have to carry you downstairs to make my breakfast."
And that's when the fight started.
