What do you get when cross an attorney with a feminist?
A lawyer who won't fuck you.
Why were there only two pallbearers at the homeless guy's funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can.
Difference between a friend & a real friend?
A friend helps you move. A real friend helps you move a body.
A girl says to a salesman, "I need some batteries for my vibrator."
He motions with his finger, "Come this way..."
She says, "If I could come that way I wouldn't need a fucking vibrator."
