How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.
What does it mean if a man remembers the color of a woman’s eyes after a first date?
She’s got small tits.
I came home one evening and my wife was in the kitchen crying.
She told me she had baked me a pie and the dog ate it.
I told her: "Don't cry honey. I'll buy you another dog."
And that's when the fight started.
My wife smiled at breakfast this morning and said: "Today is our anniversary darling... what should we do?"
I told her: "Stand in silence for 2 minutes."
And that;s when the fight started...
