Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"
He said, "Everybody."
"By the Thanksgiving meal eveyone goes around the table saying what they are most thankful for, you know what I say?
I'm thankful I didn't get caught!"
Why are roach clips called roach clips?
Because "pot holder" was already taken.
Susie is 16. She comes home at 2 in the morning, with her mom waiting up mad as hell.
She says "Mom, I was with Johnny, I love him." Her mother says, "It's not love, it's infatuation."
Susie says, "But I blew him and then he fucked me in the ass."
Her mother says, "That's infatuation. When he fucks you in the ass and then you blow him... that's love."
