Why do women wear black underwear?
They're in mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.
What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?
Shoot him again.
A guy woke up one day on Valentines day, he went to check the mail and saw there were no cards. He thought to himself, "Must be because there's no post on a Sunday..."
"Yeah, that's it...That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!"
Know when a man is well hung?
When you can barely slip a finger in between his neck & the noose.
