What is the flattest surface you can iron your jeans on?
A white chick's ass.
The other day my wife asked me to talk to her like she was special.
So I said, "Gooooo ... maaaaake ... meeeee ... aaaaa ... cuuuuup ... offfff ... coffeeeee"
And that's when the fight started...
What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer?
A fuckin know-it-all!
What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend?
45 minutes.
