How can you tell if your wife's dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
What would you call a dead prostitute?
Free.
My wife wanted to test me. So she asked: "Honey, what would you do if you came home and caught me in bed with another guy."
I told her: "I'd kick his seeing eye dog."
And that's when the fight started...
How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?
Piece of cake.
