Why'd my wife cross the road?To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.
Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?
So she won't shit on the street during the parade.
Susie is 16. She comes home at 2 in the morning, with her mom waiting up mad as hell.
She says "Mom, I was with Johnny, I love him." Her mother says, "It's not love, it's infatuation."
Susie says, "But I blew him and then he fucked me in the ass."
Her mother says, "That's infatuation. When he fucks you in the ass and then you blow him... that's love."
What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.
