I razzed my wife: "I shoulda never got married. Why buy the whole cow when I was gettin' the milk for free?"
She snapped back: "Yeah? Well I got stuck with the whole pig for just one little sausage."
And that's when the fight started...
Why do men name their dicks?
They don't want ninety-five per cent of their decisions made by a total stranger.
A doctor told his patient her test results came back and she had a rare disease with only 6 months to live.
"That's such a short amount of time." the woman begged, "Isn't there anything I can do?"
"Marry a lawyer," the doctor told her. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
I came home last night with a half gallon of rocky road and asked my wife: "Want some ice cream?" So she responded: "How hard is it?" I told her with a wink: "As hard as my dick!"
She said: "Great, pour me some."
And that's when the fight started...