For The Team

What do cheerleaders say after sex?

"Thanks, guys!".

Who's Thirsty?

What do you call a virgin on a water bed?

A cherry float.

Mental Health

I turned my whole life around.

I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.

Save A Trip To The Pet Shop

I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.

She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.

And that's when the fight started...