There's A Card For Everything
Hallmark Card fail:
"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."
Hallmark Card fail:
"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."
My buddy was jerking off way too much, so he went to a shrink. Good move. So far he's been able to control his compulsive masturbating. Now he doesn't jerk off nearly as much. He says it feels like he got a huge load off his chest.
A blonde girl comes home from school one day and tells her mom: "We were learning our numbers today and everyone else could only count to 5, but I could count to 10. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
Her mom tells her "Great job honey!" The girl asks her mom "Is it because I'm blonde?" Her mom tells her: "Yes it is."
The next day the blonde girl comes home from school and tells her mom: "We were learning our alphabets today and everyone else could only get to E, but I got to J. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J!"
Her mom tells her "Great job honey!" The girl asks her mom "Is it because I'm blonde?" Her mom tells her again: "Yes it is."
On the third day the blonde girl comes home from school and tells her mom: "Today we were in the showers after gym class and all of the other girls were flat chested, but I have these!" Whereupon the girl lifts her shirt revealing very large breasts.
Her mom tells her "Um... Great job honey." The girl asks her mom: "Is it because I'm blonde?"
Her mom replies "No dear, it's because you're 25."
I'm laying back after screwing my wife & she whispers: "Honey, I think I'll call you the bus?"
I asked why and she said, "Because you always stop before I get off!"
And that's when the fight started...