Brand New Dishwasher

What's the first thing a man would do if there were no women left on earth?

Invent a dishwasher that would suck his dick.

Out To Lunch

Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.

Religious Instruction

Teacher: "What do you know about the Resurrection?"
 
Johnny: "If it lasts more than 4 hrs call your doctor."

A Dream Shattered

My wife came out of the shower, winked at me and said, "I shaved my pussy! You know what that means?"

I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."

And that's when the fight started...