Eyeglass Problem Solved

What should you do if your sister-in-law sits on your glasses & breaks them?

Take them off next time.

A Helping Hand

A priest is walking down the street and passes by a prostitute who yells out, "$20 for a handjob!"

He keeps walking but later he asks a nun, "What's a handjob?"

She replies, "20 bucks... same as in town."

Everything Is Legal If You Don't Get Caught

"By the Thanksgiving meal eveyone goes around the table saying what they are most thankful for, you know what I say?

I'm thankful I didn't get caught!"

Back And Forth Exchange

Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."

He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"

And that's when the REAL fight started...