Pinnochio tells his Dad that whenever he has sex with a girl, she complains about the splinters. His father gives him a piece of sand paper and tells him to rub his dick with it before sex and it should solve the problem.
A few days later, his father asks: "How are things going with the girls?" Pinocchio tells him: "Girls... who needs girls?"
This cute gal is on the psychiatrist's couch. She says, "Doc... you gotta help me. I have this uncontrollable urge to fuck all of my employers."
The psychiatrist says, "Hmm .. I see... ever work as a receptionist?"
How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party?
The cake jumps out of the girl.
My wife was concerned that we weren't managing the household well in tough financial times. So she asked me to take some action and plan for the future.
No problem I told her. I ran out and came home with 2 cases of beer instead of one.
And that's when the fight started...