Can't We All Just Get Along?

Peace comes at a price. If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, there would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.

Time To Do Some Lawn Work

What's the best part of gardening?

Getting down and dirty with my hoes.

No Need To See The Shrink

What happened to the depressed dyslexic?

He threw himself behind the bus.

It Takes Two

I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?

She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."

And that's when the fight started...