The Chicken Or The Egg?

A chicken and and egg are lying in bed.

The chicken begins to light up a cigarette.

The egg says: "Well... I guess that answers that question."

A Simple Plan

What did the dick say to the balls?

You guys hang around here while I go inside.

Going Down Under And Not Coming Back

A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia."

His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What're you going to do for your Twenty-Fifth Anniversary?"

The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her."

 

What's On TV?

Wife walks into the den & asks: "What's on the TV?"

I told her "Dust!"

And that's when the fight started...