Depends On Where You Are
I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."
Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"
"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."
I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."
Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"
"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."
Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.
A woman is checking out in the grocery line. She places one apple, a small ready-made salad, a frozen dinner, and a pint of ice cream on the conveyor.
The guy ringing everything up smiles at her and says: "I'll bet your single." The woman looks back and asks: "How did you know, by my choice of food?."
The guy replies: "No, 'cause you're ugly."
My wife was on the rag and really acting like a pain in the ass. So I figured I throw some gas on the fire and told her: "I figured out why they call it PMS... Mad Cow Disease was already taken!"
And that's when the fight started...