I asked my wife: "Where do you want to go for our anniversary, honey?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested: "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started...
I hate it when a girl tries to offer me a lame consolation prize. 'Cause girls will say things like: "Oh, we're not going to have sex, but I'll give you a hand job."
Hey! Newsflash: I have hands... they have the job... the position is filled... I don't need to outsource the work... alright? If you got a pussy for the job, we can talk -- 'cause I am always hiring.
What's the best thing about dating homeless chicks?
You can drop them off anywhere.
My wife was on the rag and I just couldn't take any more of her bitchin'. So I asked: "What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?"
Then before she could answer I told her: "You can negotiate with a terrorist."
And that's when the fight started...