A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Snowman!

What is the difference between a female snowman and a male snowman?

Snowballs.

They Have A Name For That

What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?

A tearjerker.

It's Going To Need Some Work

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"

Wife: "In the pool."

A Night Out On The Town

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...

...so, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Out Of Warranty

When her car conks out the old lady pushes it into a gas station. Soon the mechanic has it purring like a kitten.
The old gal asks: "What's up?"
He tells her: "Crap in the carburetor."
She says: "How often do I have to do that?"

Let Me Introduce You To

What did one whore's knee say to the other?

Nothing... they never met.

Please Don't Disturb The Peace

A guy goes in to see an optometrist.

The doctor says, "You have to stop masturbating."

The guy says, "Why? Am I going blind?"

The doctor says, "No, you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."