A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia."
His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What're you going to do for your Twenty-Fifth Anniversary?"
The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her."
At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.
Why'd the trapeze artist divorce his wife?
He caught her in the act.
Lying in bed watching TV with the wife I kept switching back and forth between a fishing channel and a porn channel.
So my wife grabbed the remote and barked: "For Christ's sake, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish."
And that's when the fight started...