DJ of the Day

How do you know when a male porn star is at the gas station?

Right before the gas stops pumping he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car.

You know, it's not every day my wife says, "Sweetheart, why don't you take me upstairs, fuck me in the ass and cum all over my face."

Today was no exception.

The difference between buying a lottery ticket and fighting with your wife?

You have a chance at winning the lottery.

One night while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep my wife asked me a real stupid question: "Honey, why do you think god gave men a dick?"

I opened one eye and told her: "So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up!"

And that;s when the fight started...

My wife suggested: "Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!"

So I told her: "Sure... but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on."

And that's when the fight started...

What's the first thing a man would do if there were no women left on earth?

Invent a dishwasher that would suck his dick.

A man walks into the kitchen and finds his wife boiling eggs. She looks at him passionately, lays on the counter, and says, "Make love to me Randy!"

Not wanting to lose the chance he embraces her quickly and they make passionate love.

When they are finished he asks her, "What was that about?"

She replies, "The egg timer was broken."

Dick's Joke of the Day