DJ of the Day

1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.

What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?

Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.

I'm not some kind of stud.

I'm a lazy bastard postman.

My wife and I were discussing babies and she had a thought. "Why do doctors spank newborn babies?"

I told her: "To knock the dicks off the stupid ones."

And that's when the fight started...

Losing a wife can be hard.

In most cases, it’s damn near impossible.

What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?

One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.

My dick's so big it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

Dick's Joke of the Day