Get A Job

I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people.

It needs more work.

This Is What I Call It

If nuts on a wall are walnuts and nuts on a chest are chestnuts, what are nuts on a chin?

A blowjob.

One Man's Heaven Is Another Woman's Hell

Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

Lots Of Scarifies in Life

I told my wife I was so pleased she treated me like a God. She looked at me and asked, "What do you mean?"

I told her, "Every evening at dinner you give me a burnt offering."

And that's when the fight started...