A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Order in the Court

What do you call a judge with no balls?

Justice Prick

Biology or Cooking Class

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.

A Musician

What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

A Farmer's Dilemma

A farmer and his wife were lying in bed after a little quickie. The farmer stroked his wife's bare breasts and said, "Y'know, honey, if these gave milk, we could sell the cow."

Sighing, his wife grabbed her husband's dick and said: "And if this stayed hard a little longer, we could fire the farmhand."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

What's In That Tackle Box

"Every Sunday you go fishing, right?

Husband: "Yeah why?"

"The fish came by to tell you she's pregnant!"

You're On The Clock

The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times. In moments of temptation ask yourself just one question: Is 15 minutes of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"

One young girl in the back of the room rose and asked: "Excuse me, but how do you make it last 15 minutes?"

Advice For Gardeners

Easy, inexpensive way to get rid of weeds: Put 2 cups of Epsom salt and a 1/4 cup of dish soap in a gallon of vinegar. Shake well.

Then tell your family you're going to mix it in their food if they don't get off their lazy asses and go outside and yank up the goddamned crabgrass.