A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

A Man's Man

What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?

Focused.

Do What Mama Says

His date warned him: "My mama made me promise I'd say 'NO' to all your advances."

He says: "Sure, no problem. You wouldn't mind if I fucked you in the ass, would ya?"

Round Two

What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?

Shoot him again.

Just Doesn't Measure Up

My wife and I were on a road trip and I asked her to help navigate, So of course she couldn't quite figure out how to use the map. Frustrated I asked her, "Why can't women read maps?"

She snapped back, "Because only a man can relate to the concept of 1 inch equals a mile."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Visit To The Hardware Store

A married couple is remodeling their home and getting new doors so the husband asks his wife to go get hinges. She goes to the hardware store, picks out the hinges, and pays for them. As she is leaving the clerk realizes that she didn't get a screw for the hinge and says "Hey! Do you want a screw for that hinge?"

She looks at him and says "No..,. but I'll blow you for a microwave"

It's not because you are color blind...

What's the difference between pink and purple?

The grip!

Let Me Introduce You To

What did one whore's knee say to the other?

Nothing... they never met.