DJ of the Day

What do you say to a man with five penises?

"Your jeans fit like a glove."

Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a freezer?

The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!

How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?

Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"

I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."

I said: "Yeah, but I do."

And that's when the fight started...

What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?

You can eat your Mom's apple pie.

My wife and I were sitting at breakfast having bacon and eggs. I told her: Darling, you're just like bacon... you look, smell and taste fantastic!"

Thanks she said... before I added: "And your both killing me slowly."

And that's when the fight started...

Three women were talking about what's it like in bed with their husbands.

The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated."

The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche; fast and powerful."

The third said, "Mine is like an antique Chevy. I have to start it by hand and then jump on once it gets going."

Dick's Joke of the Day