A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

What's Your Favorite Burger Joint?

How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper.

Doctor's Recommendation

A doctor is meeting with a husband after examining his wife. The doctor tells him: "Your wife's diagnosis is uncertain. She either has Aids or she has Alzheimers."

The husband asks: "What should I do, doc?"

The doctor advises him: "Drive her five miles outside of town and drop her off. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

My Childhood Wish

I wish I had parents like Dora.

They let that little bitch go everywhere.

It Takes More Than One

After weeks without gettin' any I got really pissed off and asked my wife: "What has two arms, two legs, two boobs & sucks?"

Before she could even think of a reply I told her: "You and a vacuum cleaner."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

How To Score

A guy takes a girl out to dinner for their 1st date. She orders shrimp cocktail, filet mignon - medium rare, a loaded baked potato, the vegetable medley, and crème brulee' for desert. Then before the waiter leaves she adds a bottle of expensive wine.

The guy looks at her and says, "Does your mother feed you like that?"

She says, "No... but my mother's not looking to fuck me."

Best Type Of Birth Control

What's a birth control pill?

That's the other thing a girl can put in her mouth to keep from getting pregnant.

Let Me Introduce You To

What did one whore's knee say to the other?

Nothing... they never met.