A punk rocker type boards a bus. He's wearing a leather vest and pants, studded collar and cuffs, and he's sporting an 8" mohawk hairdo in a rainbow of colors.
An old guy just stares at him. Finally the punk looks over at the old guy and says: "What'sa matter old man. Didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?"
The old guy looks back and says: "Yeah... I fucked a parrot one time. Thought you might be my kid."
What is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
The difference between buying a lottery ticket and fighting with your wife?
You have a chance at winning the lottery.
My wife and I were having a discussion about heaven. I told her she shouldn't worry 'cause she'll never get there. She asked: "How can you say that?"
I told her: "Because dragons never fly above 8,000 feet."
And that's when the fight started...