What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breath through something that small?"
A couple is in divorce court to decide on custody of their child. The judge asks each one to give a reason why they should be the one to keep the child.
The wife says, "Well I carried this child around in me for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process. This is my child and a part of me." Then the judge turns to the husband and asks the same question.
The husband replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out. Now, tell me, who does the drink belong to -- me or the machine"