Kung Pao Chicken

Chinese couple in bed: Husband says, "I want a 69."

Wife says, "Why you want beef & broccoli now?"

Bon Voyage

Johnson is standing on the train platform when the guy next to him waves and yells" "Goodbye! Your wife's a great fuck!"

Johnson is shocked and asks the guy: "Who were you yelling to?" The guy tells Johsnon: "That's my brother." "Wow" Johnson tells him, "That's incedibly insensitive!"

The guy says: "Actually I'm very sensitive. My brother's wife is a lousy fuck. I didn't want to hurt his feelings."

Who You Calling Little?

Dwarf to doctor: You're pretty busy. You treat dwarfs?

Doc: Yeah but you'll have to be a little patient.

Best If Used By

Wife asks her spouse: "What are you doing?" Her husband says: "Nothing." So she presses him: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for the last hour."

He tells her: "Well... yeah... I was looking for the expiration date."

And that's when the fight started...