Rest In Peace

Why were there only two pallbearers at the homeless guy's funeral?

There are only two handles on a garbage can.

Let The Force Be With You

If you force a prostitute to screw you, is it rape or shoplifting?

You choose.

Homeless or Houseless?

What's the best thing about dating homeless chicks?

You can drop them off anywhere.

A Case Of Beer

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look way better at night than any jar of cold cream.

And that's when the fight started...