A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Give Me One In A Bun

How can you tell if you're at a gay barbecue?

The hot dogs taste like shit.

The Chicken Or The Egg?

A chicken and and egg are lying in bed.

The chicken begins to light up a cigarette.

The egg says: "Well... I guess that answers that question."

Not Like The Chicken

Why'd my wife cross the road?
To get back to the shoe store we were in three fucking hours ago.

A Woman's Place

My wife and I were having our usual debate over which of two sexes... male or female... who's superior.

So I asked her: "Do you know the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?" She said, "What?"

I told her: "One's a superhero and the other is an instruction."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

It's Like Icing On The Cake

A husband comes home from work one night and his wife asks him if he could fix the washing machine. He looked at her and said: "What do I look like, the Maytag repair man?" Then he grabbed a beer and plopped down on the couch.

The next night he came home from work and his wife asked him if he could fix the car. He looked at her again and said: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" And to the couch he went, beer in hand.

On the third night he gets home and the wife tells him: "Honey, you know that nice Mr. Johnson next door? Well today he came by and fixed the washing machine. Then he checked out the car, did a little work on that, and now it's running perfectly."

The husband rolls his eyes and says: "Great. How much did that cost?"

The wife says: "Nothing really. He said he'd do it all if I baked him a cake or gave him a blowjob."

The husband asked: "So what kind of cake did you bake him?"

And the wife shot back: "What do I lool like, Betty Crocker?"

And that's when the fight started...

Real National Pastime

Any man who thinks baseball is our national pastime never played doctor when he was a kid!

Biggest Turkey You Got

A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No. They're dead."