Who Doesn't Love A Younger Woman

What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?

A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.

Runs In The Family

Cop stops a young prostitute on the street & asks: "What would your mother say if she saw you out hooking?"

"She'd be pissed as hell... this is her corner!"

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids?

Because every time Mrs. Smokey gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.

Late But On Time

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

And that's when the fight started...