Looking For A Good Deal

A blind guy in Macy's has his seeing-eye dog by the tail and is twirling it over his head.

A salesman walks up and asks: "Can I help you?"

The blind guy replies: "Nah. I'm just looking around."

True Love

If the dove is The Bird Of Love, what's The Bird of True Love?

The swallow.

Won't Be A Starving Artist Much Longer

Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."

Artist: "Great."

"Not really, he was your doctor."

Just Doesn't Measure Up

My wife and I were on a road trip and I asked her to help navigate, So of course she couldn't quite figure out how to use the map. Frustrated I asked her, "Why can't women read maps?"

She snapped back, "Because only a man can relate to the concept of 1 inch equals a mile."

And that's when the fight started...