I was visiting New York City recently and had to ask for directions. I went over to a random guy on the street and asked for his help.
Right away he told me, "Sure, head down 42nd street and take a left at the corner of get a map and fuck you!"
Gee, New Yorkers are so friendly...
When do you know you've been married too long?
The only reason you go down on it is because it doesn't talk back.
Three blondes walk into a building.
You'd think one of them would've seen it...
Husband takes his wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor dancing like a king – moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works. The wife turns to her husband and sighs: "You see that guy? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him... but I said no."
Husband says: "Yep... and it looks like he’s still celebrating!!"
And that's when the fight started...