A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

Dick's Joke of the Day

What Are You Doing Today?

Old Dick Johnson has some big plans for today, I'm gonna spend Valentines day with my ex...... box 360.

Best Chance For A Full Recovery

Surgeons prefer operating on politicians.

No guts, heart or spine & the mouth & asshole are interchangeable.

I'll Drink To That

There's a huge five-alarm fire at the local bar and trucks are dispatched from every station. When it's finally under control, one of the chiefs walks in and finds two Irish guys drinking at the bar. The chief says, "I can't believe you guys were in here the whole time. How'd the fire start?"

One of the Irish guys says, "We have no idea. It was burning when we got here."

Going Big? Go Home!

My wife sidled up to me last night and asked: "Would you like a little pussy?"

I said: "I sure would, 'cause yours is as big as a house!"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Right Idea Wrong Place

You ever been by a place and thought "Man, if I went in there, I know I'd get laid." I get that feeling all the time - I live near a prison.

Name Game

What did the Jewish guy and his Chinese wife name their baby boy?

Ka Ching!

Baby Polar Bear

A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"

His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."

Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"

His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"

"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."