A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Ruled By A Dictator

My dick's so big it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

Analyze This

A guy visits a psychiatrist and lies on the couch. The doc asks: "What's your problem?"

The guy tells him, "Doc, I can't seem to make any friends. Can you help me, you fat fuck?"

One For Just About Everything

If a guy and a girl need a marriage license what do lesbians need?

A liquor license.

A Change For The Worse


My wife was telling me all about this new transgender thing... you know, where guys turn themselves into women. I said to her: "Yeah. Well that ain't nothin' You know how to turn a fox into an elephant?"

She said: "How?" I told her: "Marry it."

And that's when the fight started...

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No Reason To Split Up

This couple gets married. After several weeks of marital bliss the guy wants to show his wife just how much she means to him. So he has "I Love You" tattooed on his dick.

One month later the wife files for divorce. When the guy asks why, she tells him: "You keep putting words in my mouth."

Eyeglass Problem Solved

What should you do if your sister-in-law sits on your glasses & breaks them?

Take them off next time.

No Monkey Business

A lady gets on a train with her baby. A guy sitting across from her looks at the baby and starts laughing hysterically.

He says, "Lady, that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. It looks like a monkey. What an ugly kid."

The lady freaks out, and goes running into the next car sobbing uncontrollably. The conductor sees her, comes over to her to console her.

He says, "Lady, relax...things are going to be all right...we'll get off at the next stop, get a cup of coffee...maybe we'll even find a banana for your monkey."