DJ of the Day

Why do women wear black underwear?

They're in mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.

How can you tell if a chick is too fat to screw?

You pull her pants down and her ass is still in 'em.

How do you know when you are getting old?

When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.

I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me up all night!"

And that's when the fight started...

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Where does a one-legged waitress work?

IHOP

What's her name?

Ilene

A man calls the doctor and is frantic, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

Dick's Joke of the Day