A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Right Idea Wrong Place

You ever been by a place and thought "Man, if I went in there, I know I'd get laid." I get that feeling all the time - I live near a prison.

She's Smoking!

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

Bench Warmers

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA.

20/20 Is More Than Plenty

I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."

I said: "Yeah, but I do."

And that's when the fight started...

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Adam and Eve

What did Eve wear? A fig leaf.

OK... So what did Adam wear?

A hole in Eve's fig leaf.

Best Chance For A Full Recovery

Surgeons prefer operating on politicians.

No guts, heart or spine & the mouth & asshole are interchangeable.

Viva Las Vegas

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you for free."

The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

And that's when the fight started...