A Good Day on the High Seas

A good-looking teenage girl went out fishing with six older guys.

She came home with a red snapper.

How Long Has That Condom Been In Your Wallet?

What do a wife & a condom have in common?

They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.

In Any Language

What do the aborigine call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.

Make A Wish

After many years of marriage a husband up and tells his wife he wished she had bigger breasts. "How am I supposed to get bigger breasts?" she asks. "That’s simple." he says, "Just rub them with toilet paper every day." "What the hell is that supposed to do?" his wife shot back.

"Well," answered her husband, "It worked for your ass!"

And that's when the fight started...