Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."
He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"
And that's when the REAL fight started...
Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off?
Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock!
A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"
The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity." The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"
The preacher quickly reponded, "No shit!"
My wife and I were having a discussion about heaven. I told her she shouldn't worry 'cause she'll never get there. She asked: "How can you say that?"
I told her: "Because dragons never fly above 8,000 feet."
And that's when the fight started...