A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Make Sure It's Tight

What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

Order in the Court

What do you call a judge with no balls?

Justice Prick

Those Fat Bastards In Corporate

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

A Night Out On The Town

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...

...so, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started...

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Late But On Time

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

And that's when the fight started...

The Father, The Son, And ? ....

Little Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way.
Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearin' your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards!"

Put Her In Her Place

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told her twice.