A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Not What She Was Hoping For

What does a Polish girl get on her wedding night that is long and hard?

A new last name.

I Wanna Register To Attend

Can't wait to go to the convention for women with no legs. I heard the place was crawling with pussy!

It's Always in a Bar

A termite walks into a bar and asks: "Where's the bar tender?"

Women Are Emotional

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.

So I told her I got a girlfriend.

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Better To Keep Your Mouth Shut

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they came upon some rabbit shit. The first boy asked his friend: "What's that?"

"'They're smart pills," his friend told him. "Eat one and it'll make you smarter." So the boy popped one in his mouth and said: "Yech. This tastes like shit."

"See," said his friend, "you're getting smarter already."

Easy Money And Good Exercise

His dad came home from a week-long business trip to find Little Johnny with a brand new mountain bike. "How'd you get that, son?" his dad asked. "By hiking" was Little Johnny's reply. "Hiking?" his dad asked in surprise.

"Yeah. Every night last week Mr. Johnson came over and gave me twenty bucks to take a hike."

Reality Check

A drunk wakes up in a cemetery in a freshly-dug grave. He thinks: If I'm alive, why's there a tombstone? If I'm dead, why do I have to piss?