The teacher was explaining to her pupils the importance of responsibility and was looking to assign a team to do an important job for the class. She told them: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."
Little Johnny jumped up and shouted: "I'm the one you want teach'. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
A guy takes his date back to her place. He gets her up to her bedroom where he sees a wall full of fluffy toys.
After he fucks her he asks her: "How was I?"
She says: "Take anything from the bottom shelf."
Old Dick Johnson has some big plans for today, I'm gonna spend Valentines day with my ex...... box 360.
Wife asks her spouse: "What are you doing?" Her husband says: "Nothing." So she presses him: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for the last hour."
He tells her: "Well... yeah... I was looking for the expiration date."
And that's when the fight started...