Old Guy Visits the Doctor

Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."

"So... what's the problem?"

"I don't get up until 9."

Should Have Become A Gynecologist

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose.

Round Two

What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?

Shoot him again.

You're Asking The Wrong Person

The family was having dinner last night when our son turned to his mother and asked: "Mom, what's a blowjob"

I turned to him and said: "Your mother doesn't know son."

And that's when the fight started...