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Dick's Joke of the Day

The Similarities are Striking

How are fat chicks like a moped?

They may be fun to ride if you got nothin' better, but you wouldn't want your friends to find out.

The Similarities are Striking

How are fat chicks like a moped?

They may be fun to ride if you got nothin' better, but you wouldn't want your friends to find out.

Hi. My Name is Dick

I just joined a brand new 13-step treatment program. I'm still on step 1 - becoming an alcoholic.

Just Drop It In

My wife stripped naked last night and stood on her head. I asked: "What the hell are you doing?"

She said: "Well... if you can't get it up again tonight, I thought maybe you could just drop it in!"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Real Facts Of Life

A kid walks in and catches his mom sucking on his father's dick.

He says, "Hey, are you guys making a baby?"

Mom lifts her head up and says, "No sweetie... we're making jewelry."

Not So Bon Vivant

What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?

Slow.

The Special Key

Three girls died and went before the pearly gates where St. Peter and his angel stopped them. St. Peter said: "Before entering heaven you must answer a simple question - have you been a good girl?"

The first girl replied: "Oh yes. I was a virgin before I got married and was still a virgin even after I got married." "Very good", said St.Peter, "Angel, give this girl... the golden key"

The second girl answered: "Oh, quite good. I was a virgin before I got married but not after." "Also very good", said St.Peter, "Angel, for this girl give her the silver key"

Finally St. Peter turns to the third girl and asks: "Have you been a good girl?" She answered: "Oh no, not at all. I practically screwed every guy I met, before, and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime, any position.

"Hmmm... I see", said St.Peter, "Angel, give this girl my room key!"