DJ of the Day

Sex is like a bank account.

First you put it in. Once you take it out you lose interest.

Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs?

He doesn't want anyone knowing he's been fucking the chickens!

How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?

He's smoking a cigarette.

I come home from work to find my wife in tears sobbing her mom passed away. She asks: "What should we do -- cremate her or bury her?"

I tell her: "Don't take any chances. Do both."

And that's when the fight started...

A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No. They're dead."

It was dad's turn to take his 10-year old daughter for a haircut... so he took her to his favorite barber.

While she was sitting in the chair with her lollipop the barber walked up and warned, "You're going to get hair on your lollipop."

The little girl nodded and said, "Uh, huh. And I'm gonna get tits, too."

What's the difference between a husand and a wife?

Wives want to videotape the birth of their child. Husbands want to videotape the conception.

Dick's Joke of the Day