A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

Dick's Joke of the Day

Recipe For Success

4 shots of tequila & I bang my wife doggie style.

2 makes her horny & 2 more gets her out on the front lawn.

Not Much To Do

A guy drives into a tiny southern town and parks in front of the one building in town that's marked General Store. He gets out and spots an old guy sitting and rocking on the porch. He says to the old guy, "What a God-forsaken place. What do you people do around here?"

The old guy says, "We don't do nothin' but hunt 'n fuck." The stranger asks, "What do you hunt?"

The old guy says, "Somethin' to fuck."

That's Her Opinion

Honeymoon morning after. Wife: "You're a lousy lover."

Husband: "How can you tell after only 30 seconds?"

The Happiest Man In The World

My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."

So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Men are Dogs, Not Vice Versa

Why does a dog lick himself?

He can't make a fist.

Golf Lessons

A woman goes to the golf pro to take some lessons. Apparently she has a terrible drive and can't help slicing or hooking every shot. The pro watches her for a while then tells her: "Your problem is that you are gripping the club too tight. You need to grip the shaft it a little more gently. Try gripping the club just like you grip your husband at night under the sheets."

Bam. The next shot is straight down the fairway... but only about 15 yards.

The pro says: "Not bad... now... take the club out of your mouth and let's go for distance."

Here's A Question

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

Nothing.