A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Welcome To Hollywood

How do they say "fuck you" in Hollywood?

Trust me.

He Knows The Score

A wife went on a retreat for work. When she returned home, she found a pair of panties in her dresser that did not belong to her. Furious, she questioned her husband. The husband said, "I have no idea where they came from I don't do the laundry!" So, the wife went to the maid and questioned her.

Indignant, the maid replied, "Madam, how should I know? These panties don't belong to me. I don't even wear panties... just ask your husband!"

What's In That Tackle Box

"Every Sunday you go fishing, right?

Husband: "Yeah why?"

"The fish came by to tell you she's pregnant!"

A Financial Discussion

I told my wife our credit cards were stolen, but I'm not reporting it.

She asked why not?

"Cause the thief spends less than you do."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Advice For Pet Owners

What's the best way to keep kitty litter fresh?

Kill your cat.

Brrrrrrrrrr

Last winter my wife and I were walking down the street when we passed a fancy department store window. She turned and asked me: "Sweetheart, why won't you buy me a fur coat? I'm so cold!"

I told her: "If you already knew the answer, why'd you bother asking?"

And that's when the fight started...

A Change For The Worse


My wife was telling me all about this new transgender thing... you know, where guys turn themselves into women. I said to her: "Yeah. Well that ain't nothin' You know how to turn a fox into an elephant?"

She said: "How?" I told her: "Marry it."

And that's when the fight started...