A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Go For The Gold!

I told my wife, "Honey, I bought some Olympic condoms today. I think I'll wear Gold tonight."

She replied, "Why not wear Silver and not finish first for a change?"

And that's when the fight started...

What's Your Favorite Drink Recipe?

If Gin makes you grin and Whiskey makes you frisky, what makes you pregnant?

Two highballs and a squirt.

This Job Is A Real Kick In The Butt

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

(And in case you are wondering, yes, I'll be here all night!)

Under Pressure

I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"

I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Birds and the Bees

Little schoolgirl asks her mom: "Is it true that babies come out where boys put their wieners in?" "Yes, honey." her mom assures her.

"Won't that knock my teeth out?"

Survival Skills

Three nuns and a priest are stranded in the desert. Luckily, they come across a camel. So they all jump on and head off to find help. After a while the camel is totally exhausted and falls down dead.

The priest says " Well sisters, this looks like the end. Do any of you have any last request?"

The first nun says "Father I have never had sex before." So the priest thinking this is their last day on earth, says OK and has sex with her.

The second nun says " I too father have never had sex before." So the priest thinks well, why not, and has sex with her too.

The priest then asked the third nun if her request is the same. She says "Not exactly father. I would just like to know what is that between your legs."

The priest says "Sister, that is a penis. It was put there by god to give the gift of life."

The last nun then responds "Great! Stick it in the camel and let's get the fuck out of here."

Leaves A Bad Taste In Your Mouth

You know why you should never drink diet soda during oral sex?

Because that way you'll have two after-tastes to get rid of.