A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

That Big?

I don't wanna brag, but my dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures. Get that ladies?

They Have A Name For That

What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?

A tearjerker.

Advice For Pet Owners

What's the best way to keep kitty litter fresh?

Kill your cat.

Not the Same Old Routine

My wife wanted to be a little playful, so she whispered: "Say dirty things to me!"

So I said: "Bathroom, kitchen, living room..."

And that's when the fight started...

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Sharing is Caring

My wife was at the sink grousing about the dishes again. She asked me: "How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?"

I told her: "Both of them."

And that's when the fight started...

 

A Real Magic Trick

A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?"

She says, "What's that?"

He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."

Drive Safely

A car was driving recklessly down the street, swerving left and right. When it whizzed past a cop he pulled it over. A blonde rolled down the window and said, " Officer, I'm so glad you're here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting them!"

The officer looked at her and said, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."