A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Best Chance For A Full Recovery

Surgeons prefer operating on politicians.

No guts, heart or spine & the mouth & asshole are interchangeable.

You're Never Too Old

Two old ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

Her friend replies, "Oh sure I do." So the first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?" The second one answers: "I suck a lifesaver."

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"

 

Been A Long Time

I was thinking about when my girlfriend & I first met. I realized I've been going out with her for...

sex.

Her Life Matters

Working in the garage this morning my wife barges in nagging about not showing her any respect. She demands I recognize her life has value too.
So I pick her up, give her a big hug and dump her in the recycle bin.
And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

He Takes The Crown

Who's the world's greatest athlete?

The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

Ahh... The Good Old Days

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing.

The first lady recalled shopping at the grocer and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper back then, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but I remember the guy you’re talking about."

Cannibal Culinary Habits

Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?

They're too bitter.