DJ of the Day

How are women like hardwood floors?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

What's the difference between zebras and female Marines?

Zebras don't have to suck anybody's dick to get their stripes.

What's the best thing about dating homeless chicks?

You can drop them off anywhere.

My wife remarked: "That Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. If I ever got it I think I'd shoot myself"

I replied: "You said that five minutes ago."

And that's when the fight started....

What's more profitable, a 1-story whore house or a 2-story whore house?

A 1-story... no fucking overhead.

I took my wife to a restaurant, and the waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah" I told him, "she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started...

This is going to be the 1st Valentine's Day I was single in almost 10 years. I'm kind of excited...

I just hope the wife feels the same way when she finds out.

Dick's Joke of the Day