DJ of the Day

How is a woman like a hurricane?

When they come, they're loud and wet, and when they leave, they take your house and car.

Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.

What do you call a guy who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you the flavor?

A smartass!

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.

So I told her I got a girlfriend.

And that's when the fight started...

My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."

So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."

And that's when the fight started...

A girl's going across town in a cab. When she gets where she's going she discovers she has no money.

She lifts her skirt and says, "Cabbie, you want to barter?"

He takes a look and says, "Lady, haven't you got anything smaller?"

What does a virgin and a balloon have in common?

One prick and it's all over.

Dick's Joke of the Day