A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Brand New Dishwasher

What's the first thing a man would do if there were no women left on earth?

Invent a dishwasher that would suck his dick.

Out To Lunch

Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.

Religious Instruction

Teacher: "What do you know about the Resurrection?"
 
Johnny: "If it lasts more than 4 hrs call your doctor."

A Dream Shattered

My wife came out of the shower, winked at me and said, "I shaved my pussy! You know what that means?"

I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Divide and Conquer

1/3 of women not interested in sex. Me too. The 1/3 from the neck up...meh. From the tits down? I'm in.

Front Or Back, Your Choice

What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?

Liquor in the front and poker in the rear!

Ahh... The Good Old Days

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing.

The first lady recalled shopping at the grocer and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper back then, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but I remember the guy you’re talking about."