Welcome To Hollywood

How do they say "fuck you" in Hollywood?

Trust me.

Advice From Dad

Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."

Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."

Good Thing He Had His Eyes Open

A guy is having dinner with his girlfriend at a restaurant when he suddenly gets down on one knee.

His surprised girlfriend begins to say: "This is so sudden..." When the guy interrupts: "Shhh... my wife just walked in!"

You Learn Something New Everyday

I was scewing my wife when suddenly I stopped and didn't move. She asked: "What are you doing?"

I told her: "I saw this online on a porn site. It's called buffering"

And that's when the fight started...