Go F*ck Yourself
Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.
Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
The other day my wife and I were golfing when she suddenly asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" I told her, "No sweetie" but she shot right back with "Oh I'm sure you would." So to keep the peace I said "Okay, I would." Then she asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" and not knowing where this was going I told her, "Yeah... I guess so."
Finally she asked me, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" and I told her, "No, she's left handed."
And that's when the fight started...