My wife and I were talking about what turns men and women on. I asked her: "Why do you think men like big tits and a tight ass?"
She said: "In your case because you’ve got a big mouth and a small dick."
And that's when the fight started...
Why is a woman like the lunch special at Kentucky Fried Chicken?
By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
It was dad's turn to take his 10-year old daughter for a haircut... so he took her to his favorite barber.
While she was sitting in the chair with her lollipop the barber walked up and warned, "You're going to get hair on your lollipop."
The little girl nodded and said, "Uh, huh. And I'm gonna get tits, too."
My wife and I attended a lecture on diet and health given by a prominent doctor.
"The things we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago." He said. "Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode our stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous. And none of us realize the long-term harm caused by impurities in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten it, or will eat it. Can anyone tell me what we eat that causes the most grief and suffering lasting for years after we eat it?"
I leaned over to my wife and whispered "I think he means wedding cake."
And that's when the fight started...