A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

What's The Dress Code

Why do blondes wear underwear?

To keep their ankles warm.

Don't ... Stop!

Mom giving advice to her daughter: "If a boy touches your boobies say 'don't' and if he touches your pussy say 'stop.'

Daughter's reply: "oh mom, I already know that. And last night my boyfriend touched both so I said 'don’t stop!'

Nutrition Is So Important

A guy visits his doctor. He walks in with a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot in the other and a french fry up his nose.

He says, "Doc, I feel terrible."

The doc says, "You're just not eating right."

A Winning Idea

I asked my wife what she'd do if I won the lottery. She told me she'd take half and leave me.

So I told her: "Great! I won 10 bucks on a scratch-off this morning. Here's your five, now get the fuck out."

And that's when the fight started...

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Front Or Back, Your Choice

What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?

Liquor in the front and poker in the rear!

A Good Day on the High Seas

A good-looking teenage girl went out fishing with six older guys.

She came home with a red snapper.

Back And Forth Exchange

Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."

He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"

And that's when the REAL fight started...