A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Time To Do Some Lawn Work

What's the best part of gardening?

Getting down and dirty with my hoes.

Short Strokes

What do you do in case of fallout?

Put it back in and take shorter strokes.

Where's My Gun?

Women are like guns.

Keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.

Old School Feminism

My wife thought I was too damn bossy, always acting like a typical male, so she called me a male chauvinist pig.

I looked at her sweetly and said: "Honey, the only thing worse than a male chauvinist pig is a woman who won't do what she's told."

And that's when the fight started...

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Go F*ck Yourself

Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.

I'll Drink To That

There's a huge five-alarm fire at the local bar and trucks are dispatched from every station. When it's finally under control, one of the chiefs walks in and finds two Irish guys drinking at the bar. The chief says, "I can't believe you guys were in here the whole time. How'd the fire start?"

One of the Irish guys says, "We have no idea. It was burning when we got here."

Stay wood boy

How did Pinocchio find out he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.