A Dead Man!

After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs.

If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me.

Not That Kind Of Sperm Bank

Sex is like a bank account.

First you put it in. Once you take it out you lose interest.

Barking Dog, Eventually Stops!

Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in?

The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!

The Voice of Experience

Husband asks: "Should I watch porn or hockey?"

Wife: "Watch porn. You already know how to play hockey."

And that's when the fight started...