More Than He Bargained For

Guy walks into a bar carrying a pistol and shouts: "Which one of you assholes slept with my wife?"

A drunk sitting at the end of the bar shouts back: "You ain't got enough bullets buddy."

Brand New Dishwasher

What's the first thing a man would do if there were no women left on earth?

Invent a dishwasher that would suck his dick.

A True Poet

My contribution to poetry & truth:

Roses are red that much is true. But violets are purple not fucking blue.

Remember Back Then

I was reminiscing with my wife about when we first got married, So I gave her a little nudge and asked: "Honey... what was the hardest thing for you on our honeymoon?"

She smiled at me and said: "Saying ouch like I meant it."

And that's when the fight started...