Two women are stuck on one side of the boulevard as a parade passes through... complete with floats, a marching band, and hot air balloons.
One gal asks the other: "What's this all about?" Her friend tells her: "It's the gay pride parade."
The first gal replies: "Yeah. Well I suck dick and take it up the ass. Where's my fuckin' parade?"
Guy visits his doctor with a problem "Doc, I don't know what to do about my wife. Every night, she goes to Harry's Bar and picks up men. She's fucking everybody in town and it's driving me crazy. What should I do?"
The doctor says, "Take a deep breath, calm down, and then give me the directions to Harry's Bar."
It's Valentine's day! So ladies, don't you worry about getting me what you got me last year.
I have enough restraining orders already.
I told my wife I was so pleased she treated me like a God. She looked at me and asked, "What do you mean?"
I told her, "Every evening at dinner you give me a burnt offering."
And that's when the fight started...