Salad

What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?

Seizure Salad.

One Professional to Another

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around and yells: "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

The guy behind him says: "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

On The Rag, Vampire Style

What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?

See you next period.

20/20 Is More Than Plenty

I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."

I said: "Yeah, but I do."

And that's when the fight started...