Over Her Dead Body
How can you tell if your wife's dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
How can you tell if your wife's dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."
Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."
An old guy and his wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The old gal tells her husband: "Go in the kitchen and get me some ice cream." So the old guy gets up and shuffles off to bring his sweetie a treat. By the time he gets to the kitchen he totally forgets what he's there for. So he opens the fridge, looks around and finally grabs some eggs and bacon. He whips up a quick batch of bacon and eggs and heads back to the den.
When he walks in carrying the plate his wife looks up with a scowl and barks: "You forgot the toast!"
Before I left for work my wife told me she wasn't feeling well. I told her: "Don't worry honey, you're not really sick."
She asked: "How do you know?"
I told her: "Because I didn't have to carry you downstairs to make my breakfast."
And that's when the fight started.