A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Some things last forever ... and some don't!

What's the difference between love and herpes?

Love doesn't last forever.

Wanna Barter?

A girl's going across town in a cab. When she gets where she's going she discovers she has no money.

She lifts her skirt and says, "Cabbie, you want to barter?"

He takes a look and says, "Lady, haven't you got anything smaller?"

One Of A Kind

What do you call a beautiful Polish girl?

Lucky!

A Change For The Worse


My wife was telling me all about this new transgender thing... you know, where guys turn themselves into women. I said to her: "Yeah. Well that ain't nothin' You know how to turn a fox into an elephant?"

She said: "How?" I told her: "Marry it."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Visit To My Local Sex Toys Shop

This year I bought some interesting gifts for my wife for Valentine's Day

I got her 2 sets of handcuffs, 4 pairs of crotchless panties, a giant butt plug, a 12 inch vibrator, a bondage whip, a naughty nurses outfit and 6 huge glow in the dark penis shaped helium balloons.

Will she be happy with it all? I don't know.

But what I do know is that on February 14th her grave will stand out more than any others in the cemetery!

Gone Fishin'

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my idiot husband Is out fishing in that?"

And that's when the fight started...

All Sinners Must Come And Confess

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.