One Morning On The Farm

One lazy morning a little farm boy is told to do his chores. He hates getting up early, so after he slops the hogs he angrily kicks one as he leaves. Then he feeds the chickens and kicks one on the way to the barn. Finally he milks the cow and before heading home he gives that cow one swift kick.

When he sits down at the breakfast table his mother says: "I've been watching you. You kicked the hog so no bacon for you. You kicked the chicken so no eggs for you. And you kicked the cow so no milk for you."

Just then his dad walks in from plowing the back forty and angrily kicks the cat out of the way. The little boy looks at his mom and says: "Should you tell him or should I."

Giddy up!

What's the worst thing about anal sex with a horse?

When it's his turn.

My Favorite Pastime

I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.

Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."

What Turns You On?

My wife and I were talking about what turns men and women on. I asked her: "Why do you think men like big tits and a tight ass?"

She said: "In your case because you’ve got a big mouth and a small dick."

And that's when the fight started...