Are Those Brand New Hardwood Floors?

How are women like hardwood floors?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

A Military Question

What's the difference between zebras and female Marines?

Zebras don't have to suck anybody's dick to get their stripes.

Homeless or Houseless?

What's the best thing about dating homeless chicks?

You can drop them off anywhere.

Proper Treatment

My wife remarked: "That Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. If I ever got it I think I'd shoot myself"

I replied: "You said that five minutes ago."

And that's when the fight started....