A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Why Is It St. Valentines Day?

It's called St. Valentine's Day because "St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day" just didn't have the same ring to it.

No Prescription Necessary

A lady walked into a pharmacy and asked: "Do you have Viagra?" The pharmacist answered: "Sure." She then asked: "Does it work?" and his reply was: "Definitely!"

Finally whe wanted to know: "Can you get it over the counter?" and he told her "I can if I take two!"

Who Knows What?

What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer?

A fuckin know-it-all!

Sex Tape

My wife wanted to be a little adventurous. She told me she was up for making a sex tape.

I said, "Great, we should hold auditions for your part."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Who's That Lady...

What's the definition of a lady?

Someone who doesn't drink or smoke, and the only time she curses is when your dick slips out.

Rather Have A Puppy

Little Johnny is walking along with his father and they pass two dogs that are going at it. He says, "Hey, Pop! What's happenin' over there?"

His father says, "Er... son, they're making a puppy."

That night, Little Johnny walks past his parents bedroom, and the old man's giving it to the old lady. Little Johnny says, "Hey, Pop! What's happenin' now?"

His father says, "Er...son, we're making you a baby brother."

Little Johnny says, "Well, flip her over. I'd rather have a puppy."

On The Rag, Vampire Style

What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?

See you next period.