A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

No Need To Call The Police

It's Valentine's day! So ladies, don't you worry about getting me what you got me last year.

I have enough restraining orders already.

Milk, It Does A Body Good

What do women and milk cartons have in common?

You gotta open the flaps to get to the good stuff.

Going Postal

My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.

I'm not some kind of stud.

I'm a lazy bastard postman.

Get A Little Culture

I took my wife to the art gallery. The 1st picture was a naked women with a small patch of leaves over her private parts. My wife didn't like it so she said: "Let's keep going."

When I didn't follow right away she turned and asked: "What are you waiting for?"

I told her: "Autumn."

And that's when the fight started...

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Get In Line

Guy visits his doctor with a problem "Doc, I don't know what to do about my wife. Every night, she goes to Harry's Bar and picks up men. She's fucking everybody in town and it's driving me crazy. What should I do?"

The doctor says, "Take a deep breath, calm down, and then give me the directions to Harry's Bar."

Can't Live Without It

Sex is just like air...

It's no big deal until you're not getting any.

It's Party Time

A man goes to a fancy costume party wearing only a glass jar on his dick. A woman asks, "So what are you?" He tells her, "I'm a fireman." "But you're only wearing a glass jar" she replies.

"Exactly! In an emergency, break glass, pull knob, and I'll come as fast as I can!"