Runs In The Family

Cop stops a young prostitute on the street & asks: "What would your mother say if she saw you out hooking?"

"She'd be pissed as hell... this is her corner!"

Real Facts Of Life

A kid walks in and catches his mom sucking on his father's dick.

He says, "Hey, are you guys making a baby?"

Mom lifts her head up and says, "No sweetie... we're making jewelry."

Going Postal

My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.

I'm not some kind of stud.

I'm a lazy bastard postman.

Wife Tests Husband's Love

My wife wanted to test me. So she asked: "Honey, what would you do if you came home and caught me in bed with another guy."

I told her: "I'd kick his seeing eye dog."

And that's when the fight started...